RUSH LIMBAUGH CAN DISH IT OUT, BUT HE SURE CAN'T TAKE IT

Some people can dish it out, but they c-a-aan't take it. Add Rush Limbaugh to that list.

It is not news that the conservative talk show host is miffed at President Clinton, but he's really miffed this time.

It was bad enough that voters had the gall to elect Clinton despite Limbaugh's persistent sniping. Now Clinton has gone ahead and committed a worse sin: He has told a joke in public at Limbaugh's expense.

Clinton made the joke in question Saturday night at the annual White House Correspondents' dinner, an event that, like other big-time media galas in this town, is not one set aside for serious speechmaking.

Clinton has shown himself to be pretty adept with the oneliners at such affairs, especially when the barbs are aimed at his critics in the media.

My favorite Clinton line this season was his assessment, at the annual Gridiron Dinner, that TV talk host John McLaughlin is the kind of guy who "wishes they gave frequent flyer points for ego trips."

On a similar roll at the correspondents' dinner, the Prez recounted the abuse he has taken: "I've been called `fiercely partisan' by Pat Buchanan ... an `effete intellectual' by George Will ... `wavering and indecisive' by Mort Kondracke ... `overweight' by Rush Limbaugh."

But that wasn't the line that upset the pleased-to-be-plump Limbaugh. The worst came when Clinton went on to note Limbaugh showed he had a heart when he praised Attorney General Janet Reno after she was criticized by Rep. John Conyers, D-Mich., for the government's handling of the Branch Davidians in Waco.

But, Clinton, his tongue still planted firmly in his cheek, added that Limbaugh "only did it because she was attacked by a black guy."

That stung the Rushter, who was sitting near the center of the room at the USA Today table. "It's not funny," Limbaugh said later, according to the newspaper. "It's politically incorrect if conservatives do that."

Oh, yeah? What do you call it when liberals do that? Limbaugh did not say. He merely went on to get hours of material out of it to fill up his three-hour nationally syndicated radio show, which is heard on 600 stations, and his half-hour television show, which claims 224 stations.

I only mention all of Rush's stations and the fortune he has earned off of them (worth every penny, I'm sure) to underscore how much Limbaugh has suffered at the hands of his persistent tormentors, the liberal critics who cry political correctness.

"I don't mind being thought of in an ill way by Bill Clinton, but I'm not a racist," Limbaugh reportedly said. "I'm the absolute furthest thing from a racist."

That's what they all say, Rush Man.

But, seriously, I believe him. I personally shook his hand at a reception earlier that same evening and he didn't rush off to wash it. Not immediately, anyway.

Besides, I've heard him speak up for black guys, as long as they were named Clarence Thomas.

But Clinton never actually said that Limbaugh was a racist. If anything, Clinton was poking fun at the way Limbaugh has made a career out of poking fun at anyone who dares to challeng~e ~~a~ny way the hegemony of straight white males or conservatives.

That's OK. Straight white males and conservatives need love too. Rush means no harm. He merely wants to poke the pompous. Sometimes it takes one to know one.

Limbaugh apparently did criticize Conyers for being "rude," but he did not mention race. Instead, Limbaugh went on to ask his listeners if he thought Conyers attacked Reno "because she's a woman and he's a man."

Notice that it is wrong in Limbaugh's world for Clinton to imply through a joke that Limbaugh might be a racist, but it is perfectly good clean fun for Limbaugh to imply, through his question to his listeners, that Conyers might be a sexist. I'm glad we've got that straight.

The bottom line: God's gift to radio can't take a joke.

This, mind you, is a man who has made a multi-million dollar career out of challenging the boundaries of good taste with his barbed attacks on liberals and feminists.

This is a man who has called women's rights advocates "feminazis" and Vice President Al Gore an "environmental fascist."

This is a man who plays the theme from "Born Free" punctuated with shots from a hunting rifle.

This is a man who punctuates the mention of Sen. Ted Kennedy's name with the sound of a car splashing into water.

That's OK. I do not agree with much of what Limbaugh has to say, but I will defend his right to say it, especially if he says it hilariously, which he often does, even if not quite as often as he thinks he does.

Lighten up, Rush. Nobody likes a grump. The career you save may be your own.