Susan Bartlett grew up an only child. So did her husband Randy.
As children, they never experienced sibling rivalry. But as parents, they have seen it in their children.
The Bartletts have a 19-year-old daughter, Leigh, who is attending Southeast Missouri State University. Their 15-year-old son, Robb, is a high school sophomore.
Susan Bartlett, who heads the Parents As Teachers Program in the Cape Girardeau School District, said she and her husband have talked a lot about sibling rivalry. "I think both of us have unrealistic expectations."
Said Bartlett, "We just don't know what it is like to have a brother or sister."
For an only child, she said, "it is not always orderly, but you don't have the noise and the tension because there is nobody to compete with.
"You don't have competition for adult attention or toys or play things."
Bartlett grew up on a farm in the Dexter area. "I had a diabetic mother so she could only have one child."
Her parents gave her plenty of attention. "I don't think I was overly indulged, probably because, financially, my parents couldn't do that type of thing."
Bartlett said the hardest thing about being an only child was that she "was raised on a farm in the country, away from other experiences with children.
"So I totally grew up in an adult world until I entered grade school," she said. "I was so insecure and shy and withdrawn, extremely so.
"Even to this day, I am much more comfortable with little children and older people than people my own age," she said.
Still, Bartlett said, "I was very, very happy as an only child."
Growing up, she participated in many school and church activities. "I went to Europe when I was a teenager, with a leadership study group for five weeks."
Bartlett said that if her parents had had more children, they could never have afforded to send her to Europe.
Still, Bartlett said, she initially wanted to marry into a large family. "I had always planned to marry someone who had six or seven siblings because I always wanted to have a huge family."
Instead, she married an only child. "I think just the fact that we're both only children gave us a lot of common perspectives about life."
Bartlett said that because she and her husband were only children, raising two children has been a special joy. "I love every second of it."
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