MISSOURIAN COLUMNIST AILEEN LORBERG DIES

A few weeks ago, nationally-syndicated language columnist James J. Kilpatrick wrote a column explaining the difference of who and whom.

But he wanted an expert to review the column before he sent it to the syndicate. So he asked Cape Girardeau writer Aileen Lorberg to take a look.

"She telephoned back and said the copy was quite right, and there were no misjudgements in usage," Kilpatrick said Tuesday in a telephone interview. "She was a dear friend. I have a picture of her on my office wall."

Lorberg died Tuesday at Southeast Missouri Hospital. She was 88.

Funeral arrangements were incomplete at Lorberg Memorial Funeral Chapel in Cape Girardeau.

Lorberg had written a language column, Lend Me Your Ear, since 1982. The column appeared in the Southeast Missourian.

Based on a similar affection for the English language, Lorberg and Kilpatrick became friends years ago. His second book on writing is dedicated to her.

The two met just once. "We hit it off beautifully," Kilpatrick said.

Kilpatrick often asked Lorberg for assistance on language matters. He shared details of their lives.

She had recently developed an affection for a neighbor's cat, Kilpatrick said. "I would ask her about the `exceptional cat,'" he said.

"We had great conversations by mail," Kilpatrick said. "She was full of spunk and vivacity and strong convictions. She was such a good friend."

A shared love of language also spawned a friendship with Bill Rader of Cape Girardeau.

"She was by far the most perfect grammarian I have ever known," Rader said. "She absolutely had a passion, and she liked pure English and pure grammar."

When people misused words, "That just went against her grain," Rader said.

Lorberg was generous with her knowledge, Rader said.

"She was forever having people call her at her home to ask which is right, who or whom, and things like that," he said.

If she didn't know the answer she would look it up. A large two-volume reference sat on her ironing board.

In addition to her friendship with Kilpatrick, Lorberg also had a longstanding correspondence with Erma Bombeck. "She loved her sense of humor," Rader said.

When author Richard Lederer visited Cape Girardeau, he made a special stop to visit Lorberg.

"She had a little fame in her own right," Rader said.

Lorberg began her professional career as a teacher, but soon found her expertise in writing.

She wrote books for teen-agers and educational journals. She earned numerous awards for her articles and books.

For years Lorberg wrote essays published under the title "Nip and Tuck" in the former Cape Girardeau Bulletin Journal newspaper.

In 1982, that column was dropped in favor of her language column, "Lend Me Your Ear," which continued to be published in the Southeast Missourian.

In 1981, she won the Otto Dingeldein Award from the Southeast Missouri Council on the Arts. The award recognizes outstanding artists. Lorberg was honored for her writing accomplishments.

She also received praise from Kilpatrick in one of his columns. He called Lorberg "keeper of the flame in matters grammatical."