YOURS + MINE = OURS: FAMILY OF 12 DEPENDS ON PLANNING, FAITH AND LOVE

Koeller family members, from left, David, Jeffrey and Rebecca looked through the Koeller's Family Operations Manual that helps family members keep track of their chores and each other.

Jessica Payne, left, a friend of the Koeller family, attended services at St. Paul Lutheran Church with Koeller family members, from left, Amanda, Jeffrey, Jeremy, David, Rebecca, Martha, Stan, Jacob and Jessica.

When Stan and Marty Koeller left their Jackson home last week for seven days in a condo at Florida's Navarre Beach, it was a well-earned respite from their usually crowded life.

For Marty, who grew up as an only child, it was the first time in over 20 years she's spent a week without kids. Stan grew up as the youngest of 10 children, so he's known all his life what it is like to be a part of a busy household. For the past seven years, Stan and Marty have had 10 kids of their own.

"We met at a Parents Without Partners meeting," Stan said.

"Free advertising," Marty called it.

Marty said she had made a list for God of the things that she was looking for in a husband. At the top of the list was that he have kids of his own so that he would understand her and her children. She had four; Stan had six.

"I thought it was neat, a single guy raising six kids on his own," she said.

After dating for six months, they were married. Originally, they had planned a June wedding but moved it up because the kids thought it was good idea. So, on Jan. 12, 1991, with all 10 kids with them at the altar, Stan and Marty were married.

Just a little over a year later, they were in court, but not for the reason that often brings married couples to court. They were there not to dissolve their marriage, but to bolster it by adopting each other's children.

Today, they don't even like to talk about the children in terms of his or hers. Instead, they say the children are theirs together. Even now, six years later, the family still marks Jan. 27, the anniversary of the adoption, as a special family day.

Although two of the children -- Tony and Jennifer, both 21 -- have since moved from the family home, the rest of the children -- Jessica, Fred, Amanda, Jacob, David, Jeremy, Jeffrey and Rebecca -- still live with Dad and Mom. Jessica, a psychology student at Southeast Missouri State University, is 20. Rebecca is 9. The other six children are teen-agers.

And there are other children who seem to gravitate to the Koeller home. One friend is at the house so often that the Koellers have started referring to her as "No. 11."

"The kids in the neighborhood think there's a party here all the time," Marty said.

"Probably because there are so many cars," Stan added.

In fact, they had to build a second driveway to accommodate the vehicles of family and friends that are parked at the house.

The second driveway is just one of many things they have in pairs at their house. They have two refrigerators in their kitchen, to go along with their giant chest freezer. They have two washer-and-dryer sets with two water heaters. They even have two dogs. And, of course, two bathrooms.

It wasn't always so.

When they were first married and all 10 children were still living at home, there was just one bathroom in the house. They spent their wedding money to purchase and install a new toilet. At first it had no walls around it or sink and tub with it. Since then, it has evolved into a full bathroom with the home's second shower.

The second shower comes in handy on school mornings when all eight kids are fighting for it before breakfast. Mornings can be "absolutely wild," Marty said.

"My attitude is, OK, maybe it's a little crazy around here, but nobody's bleeding and nobody's dying, so just carry on," she said.

The nights are equally as hectic, with children needing to get to gymnastics, choir practice, track practice, play rehearsals, dance lessons and more, with Marty usually playing taxi driver while Stan works the night shift. Somewhere along the line, the kids squeeze in their homework.

"It's got to have organization or it would fall apart," Marty said.

She keeps a daily planning book with her in which the kids write down where they need to be and when they need to be there. Telling her doesn't count as far as Marty is concerned. If it's not written in her book, it doesn't happen. She calls the book her memory.

An equally important book for the family is the Koeller Family Operations Manual, now in its third edition and currently being revised by the family members. The manual contains a list of chores that each child is responsible for and which the child has signed, acknowledging that he has read the list.

Also in the manual are the goals and objectives of the family and the family's own mission statement.

The mission reads: "We seek to lead a prayerful God-pleasing life while maintaining a safe and nurturing home filled with love, concern and support, as we guard and protect each other physically, spiritually and emotionally, and selflessly serve each other as we would wish to be served."

For Stan and Marty, the element of faith has been very important in bringing their family together and keeping them together.

"They're a great bunch of kids," Marty said. "If we would've had a lesser group of kids, we would've been sunk. It's a pleasure to be their Mom."

She paused, then added with a laugh, "Most of the time."