Words of comfort

The chapel at Notre Dame Regional High School was quiet and empty Wednesday night. Nothing at all like Katie Tanner, a 2006 graduate who died Friday after a brief, mysterious illness.

The Cape Girardeau native was remembered as funny, goofy, bubbly and giving by more than 500 mourners who gathered in the school's auditorium and filed past family members to offer hugs and words of comfort.

A slide show with dozens of images of Katie at all ages was projected on one wall. Another wall, lined with display boards and tables with flower arrangements and some of her paintings, included a recipe she'd created as a 9-year-old:

"Recipe for the Sole: 1 cup of flowers, 5 cups of harts, 4 1/2 cups of stories or rimus, and 100,000 cups of love."

Some of her favorite songs played under the murmurs of friends and family. When Tim McGraw's recording of "Fly Away" ended, four girls waiting in line sang some of the lyrics, in harmony. Katie Burrus, Holly Banken and Katie Karnes, all 17, said they were in Notre Dame's choir with Tanner. They said she was funny and nice and gave good advice about boys.

Katie Tanner's former Notre Dame schoolmates, from left, Rhonda Sheakley, Sarah Wibbenmeyer, Danielle Kimball and Elizabeth Stewart shared several laughs while reminiscing about Katie during the memorial service Wednesday at Notre Dame Regional High School. They talked about Katie's love for gaucho pants and her well-known sayings, such as, "Guys, it's not that bad." (Kit Doyle)

Jonathan Blattel, her boyfriend of one year and three months, said she made everything fun and was never afraid to speak her mind.

Viola and Bobby Amschler, fellow members of St. Vincent de Paul Catholic Church, recalled Katie as a young child. "Whenever Bobby picked her up, she'd pull the gum out of his shirt pocket, even in church," Viola Amschler said.

Classmates at Patricia Stevens College in St. Louis, where Tanner studied fashion design before switching to tourism and hospitality, recalled her warmth.

"In the first class I had with her, she just turned around and asked for my phone number," said Lo Alferman, 20, of Washington, Mo. The two became good friends with Kate O'Connor, 20, of Fenton, Mo., and Amanda Helgen, 18, of Litchfield, Ill.

When Tanner fell ill, O'Connor and Helgen created an online group on Facebook.com, "Lets all pray for Katie Tanner." Nearly 800 other students have joined, some posting comments, others adding photos depicting a funny, friendly young woman.

Notes were left for Katie Tanner during the memorial Wednesday at Notre Dame Regional High School. (Kit Doyle)

She was the kind of girl who, shortly after graduating from Notre Dame, took the time to write an enthusiastic review of her school at a Web site dedicated to ranking schools, www.greatschools.net, telling parents their children would get "a wonderful and well rounded education that they will use for a life time."

Among her friends at Notre Dame were Laura Schuchart, Lizz Stewart and Rhonda Sheakley. "Because of Katie I didn't feel like such an outcast," Schuchart said.

Sheakley said she was always impressed by Tanner's general fashion sense and her ability to skirt the school's dress code. "She could wear red snakeskin heels with black gaucho pants and red and pink shirts with upturned collars," Sheakley said.

Though she struggled with classes at times, family and teachers say Katie was never afraid to ask for help.

Cynthia King, Notre Dame's English literature teacher, said Tanner eagerly stayed after to school to talk through a difficult lesson. "We were talking about castles in England and she said, 'I've been there,'" King said. "She brought in pictures of these places and was very excited and animated about it. ... For that day in class, it was her turn to shine. Some kids understood the passages better, but she had been to those places."

People looked at hundreds of photos of Katie Tanner during the memorial service Wednesday at Notre Dame Regional High School in Cape Girardeau. (Kit Doyle)

'It's going to be OK'

Katie's last words to her family, spoken just before a surgery, were one of her favorite sayings.

On Wednesday, they were posted as part of the memorial service display.

"It's not that bad. It's going to be OK."

Casey Glueck, Tanner's sister and her roommate for the last year, is a registered nurse. She says she's never seen anything like the illness that ended Katie's life. She'd gotten sick just after the Fourth of July. By July 9 she'd been admitted to Saint Francis Medical Center and was airlifted to St. Louis University Hospital.

As Tanner's condition deteriorated, doctors ruled out toxic shock, both bacterial and viral meningitis, and snake or tick bites. Her circulation had become so poor that doctors amputated both her legs below the knees July 11.

The next day she was diagnosed with leukemia, Glueck said.

"She had these microembolisms. Sometimes leukemia can cause clotting," she said, but the process doesn't happen that way or that fast. "We know she had leukemia, but she got sick very quickly. We don't know how long she had leukemia. ... She got exponentially worse in an extremely short period of time."

One doctor treating her sister said he'd never seen a similar case in his 30-year career, Glueck said. The family is calling it a medical mystery.

"One thing that I know is not a mystery," Glueck told the crowd Wednesday night, "is Katie's love for God."

She went on to share stories of faith the family experienced since Friday, asking those assembled to remember "life is short, so let's make the most of it by being faithful to our gracious Lord, realizing that we need Jesus in our lives, forgiving others, and loving them the way we would want to be loved."

She also asked for people to donate blood.

"It's easy to do," she said after eulogizing her younger sister, whose medical treatment required at least 18 pints of blood. "Don't donate just once for Katie. I need people to make it a part of their lives."

Katie Tanner is survived by her parents, Norman and Jeannie Drury Tanner of Cape Girardeau; five sisters, Angie Glueck, Tammy Glueck, April Glueck Bonham, Casey Glueck and Tabitha Tanner, all of Cape Girardeau; grandparents Charles and Shirley Drury Sr. of St. Louis; and great-grandmother Hazel Luebbers of Cape Girardeau.

A memorial Mass will be at 10 a.m. today at St. Vincent de Paul Church.

pmcnichol@semissourian.com

335-6611, extension 127

Katie's Tanner's eulogy

This is the text of Casey Glueck's eulogy for her sister, Katie Tanner, 19, who died on Friday after a brief illness.

Hello everyone. For those of your who don't know me, my name is Casey and I'm one of Katie's five sisters. I had the privilege of being roommates with Katie in St. Louis where Katie was going to college at Patricia Stevens. I'm sure you all have heard many different versions of how and why Katie died. Although we wish we had all these answers, we don't, but that's okay, because we don't have to understand everything in life.

It basically started last weekend. I was out of town, and although Katie wasn't feeling well, she and her boyfriend Jonathan graciously picked me up from the airport on Sunday night. Katie was crying in pain, complaining that her hands and feet were swollen. The swelling had gotten worse by Monday morning so Jonathan drove Katie down to Cape to Saint Francis Medical Center. To make a very long story short, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday had gone by and Katie was getting progressively worse. The wonderful and brilliant doctors went through several diagnoses but none of them seemed to fit. I've been a nurse for almost five years and I've never seen anyone get as sick as quickly as Katie did. One of the doctors taking care of Katie has been at Saint Louis University Hospital for over 30 years and had never seen a case like this. All the loving nurses taking care of Katie were also baffled as to how a 19-year-old girl could be so full of life on Sunday and end up with amputated legs by Wednesday. Finally on Thursday, we had been given a diagnosis of leukemia. But leukemia doesn't present itself like this, so what else what going on that made Katie so sick? Well, like I said, we don't know and may never know. Some have called this a medical mystery. Well, I am standing here tonight to tell you that there is one thing that I know that was NOT a mystery, and that is Katie's love for God. There have been several miraculous things that have happened over the last two weeks that have been more than just coincidence and I would like to share one of them with those of you here tonight. Anyone who knows me know it's not hard for me to find a story to tell, but this is something I truly believe Katie wanted me to share with all of you.

It was Friday night just a few hours after Katie had flown away to heaven. We had already said our "goodbyes" and "see ya laters" to Katie, and had gone back to the hotel to eat a late dinner in our parents' room, and then back to our own rooms. I, of course, couldn't sleep, so I was just sitting on the couch watching a movie when my sister April called and said, "Hey. You watching TV?" "Yeah," I replied, "why?"

"Well, I think you better turn on Channel 96. Jeff was watching Court TV and our TV changed to Channel 96 TWICE. But the remote was on top of the TV. So I'm thinking this might be something we should watch."

I immediately turned to Channel 96 and there was a Christian man telling the story of how, when he was a young Jewish boy, he always wondered why there were parts of the Scriptures that had been left out of their teachings. So later on in life when he became a Christian, he was curious about those Scriptures that had been left out. He goes on to share his favorite, which is in the Book of Isaiah 53:4-5, which reads, "Surely our griefs He Himself bore, and our sorrows He carried; yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But He was pierced through for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the chastening for our well-being fell upon Him and by His wounds we are healed."

As he was explaining what this passage meant to him, a message with huge letters scrolled across the screen, reading, "Attention. Attention. We are interrupting this program for a very important message ... Do you believe in God?" Needless to say, the hair on my arms and legs stood straight up and I got goose bumps everywhere. I could feel God's presence. I turned to Justin and said, "If that's not God telling us there is a heaven, Katie's there now (and made it on time without getting lost, I might add), and that we all need to believe in God, then I don't know what is. This was NOT just a coincidence! I felt at peace, and soon fell fast asleep. The next morning at breakfast, we were all discussing what had happened, and we all agreed that it was amazing how Katie, within jut a few hours of her death, had already been helping us become closer to God.

Saturday came and was a blur, then it was Sunday and I was packing another bag to get ready to go to Cape. And just before walking out the door, I decided to go in my room and read the daily scripture form my perpetual calendar since I hadn't read it in five days. I felt a sudden urge to read the scripture from July 13th, since that was the day Katie had passed. And guess what? Lo and behold, it was the exact same message we heard from the Christian man on Channel 96 on Friday night. But this scripture was from the New Testament in 1 Peter 2:24, which reads, "He Himself bore our sins in his body on the cross, that we might die to sin and live in righteousness,; for by His wounds you were healed." Again this was NOT a coincidence! I find this even more amazing that God gave us an Old Testament verse and a New Testament verse that parallel each other and say the same message. It was as if God had said, "Just in case you missed the first message, I'm gonna spell it out for you one more time."

In other words, if you don't already know that you need Jesus Christ in order to get to heaven, then now' the time to learn. Through His wounds, we are healed! It's just awesome how God works in our lives! He teaches us how to live through His Word in the Bible and through people like Katie. And the closer we become to Him, the more He reveals Himself to us. An it all starts with believing. I know in my heart this is one of the messages Katie wanted to share with all of us, and I believe Katie wants us all to be at peace with the Lor.

As you were all walking around the room looking at all the gorgeous pictures of Katie, you may have noticed the laminated sheet titles, "Recipe for the Sole." Katie gave this to me when she was only 9. It reads, "Recipe for the Sole: 1 cup of flowers, 5 cups of harts, 4 1/2 cups of stories or rimus, and 100,000 cups of love." She was only 9, and she seemed to have already had a pretty good grasp on what life is about. Katie used to tell me how I was too serious all the time and that I needed to lighten up and that it wasn't that bad. I think that was good advice. I used to get on to her about making so many messes around the apartment and how she needs to start cleaning up after herself. Well, any of you who know our family, know it's no secret as to who I got THAT from (Mom) -- I mean that as a compliment. But Katie had the wisdom at such a young age to know that the most important thing in life is not keeping a spotless house or having money, but rather, it is to believe in God, love Him, and love others the way Jesus taught us. I remember she used to make me so mad when she'd leave dishes in the sink, but over the last few days I keep finding myself thinking, "I'd give anything to have a dirty apartment if that meant I could have my Katie back." But hen I have to take a step back and realize that I'm being selfish. Would I really want to prevent Katie from meeting her heavenly Father, her creator, her Lord? Well no, I just don't want to feel the pain of missing her. So it's in times like these when we miss her that we all need to rely on our faith in God and our relationships with each other to find comfort. It's times like these when we miss Katie that we need to remember to take the focus OFF the petty little stupid things in life that we worry about so much. IT's times like these when we miss Katie that we must make amends with our enemies, apologize to those we have hurt in the past, and forgive others. In our family we have already lost two cousins, Lacey Edwards and Jessica Arnzen, to sudden deaths at early ages, and that proved to use that life is short and we never know when our last day will be, and here God is yet again, teaching us the same lesson through Katie's life and death. Life is short, so let's make the most of it by being faithful to our gracious Lord, realizing that we need Jesus in our lives, forgiving others and loving them the way we would want to be loved. Yes, today is the day to forgive!

So I'd like to close in a prayer that Katie wrote. It's written on the front of the prayer cards that our Aunt Jennifer so lovingly made for us. So let's now read it aloud together ...

God grant me the serenity

to remain strong in whatever

you want me to do for you.

Keep me out of the darkness

I sometimes choose

to hide myself in

Your love will not break me

or bring me down

Yet only lift me up

to a higher person in you

You have accepted me

for who I am and

what I can do

I don't have to put on for --

because you already

know what's next

God take me as I am

or leave me here

to overcome others' expectations

You're the worker here

and either way

I am ready for anything

Amen, Katie.

-- Reporter's notebook --

Katie Tanner had only recently switched her major at Patricia Stevens College in St. Louis from fashion merchandising to tourism and hospitality. According to hospitality and tourism instructor Ginger Reinert, Katie was "the kind of person who could walk in a room and light it up. It's a cliche, I know, but when she became a part of our group, it just seemed to click."

Classmate Amanda Helgen, worked as a hostess at Max & Erma's with Katie. Helgen said they often "goofed off" together and went out to eat as well.

"She loved to eat," Helgen said, grinning. "I felt like I gained five pounds every time I went out with her."

Kate O'Connor said Katie often snacked on Swedish fish.

Lo Alferman and her boyfriend, Justin Rodgers, cooked dinner every Tuesday with Katie and her boyfriend, Jonathan Blattel. The couples took turns cooking.

Patricia Stevens College held a brief memorial for Katie. Nineteen candles surrounded a single red rose on a table in the center of that school's cafeteria and some 50 students gathered while a recording of Enya's "Wild Child" played.

Helgen didn't speak to the group.

"I just stood there and cried," she said.

Katie and Jonathan met in high school. He was a senior and dating another girl. Katie had arrived at Notre Dame for her junior year. After his graduation, he and his girlfriend broke up. Katie called him shortly after that, and the two began dating.

In their last conversation, she told him to get a haircut and buy new shoes. The Jefferson College student said he got the haircut just before Wednesday's memorial service. He looked down blankly at his shoes for a moment and shrugged. "Not yet," he said.

Katie is the third member of Notre Dame's 110-member class of 2006 to die, according to Brother David Anthony Migliorino, the school's principal.

Nathan Wibbenmeyer was a sophomore when he died of cancer; Tyler Glaus died May 5, 2006, in a work-related accident.

Migliorino said the deaths tests the faith of the former classmates "and puts their faith to work," he said. "We had a beautiful prayer service last Thursday when Katie was ill and the family was having to make several hard decisions."

Katie "was character, silly, bubbly, always wanted to help and do things for everybody else," Migliorino said.

One story he told Wednesday night:

Often late for class, she would fly by Migliorino in the hall, call out a "Hi, Brother David!" only to tell her teacher that she's been delayed because she'd been talking to her principal.

Her family's decision to donate Katie's body to the St. Louis University Hospital for research, he said, was "a magnificent gift" and something, he said, Katie would have wanted them to do.

Theology teacher Mark Koehler said Katie always laughed at his jokes, even those she didn't quite get.

"She did work to the best of her ability," he said.

Family friend Viola Amschler said, years ago, she looked out the window of her home and saw her daughter and one of Katie's older sisters playing on the family trampoline, "pitching Katie so high in the air, all we'd see is her curls on the way down."

Amschler scolded the older girls, but said Katie loved the game.

After visiting a relative in a nursing home earlier this week, Amschler said she thought to herself, "God, why did you take Katie when all these people are waiting to go?"