WOMAN, 40, FIGHTS BACK AFTER BOUT WITH ANOREXIA

Sharon weighed about 135 pounds when she decided she needed to lose weight because of a blood sugar problem.

But somewhere along the line the diet took control, and when Sharon's weight was down to 86 pounds her doctor ordered her hospitalized for anorexia.

"Actually it is almost a forced situation," said Sharon, who didn't want her real name published.

Her doctor noticed the weight loss and ordered her into treatment.

Sharon, now 40, was diagnosed as anorexic in 1991. She is one of an estimated 8 million Americans who suffer from an eating disorder, and she is still undergoing treatment for the disease.

"I didn't feel like I really started getting control of it until this last year," she said.

Eating disorders are a secretive disease. People with anorexia or bulimia lie about their eating habits, and their resulting health problems may not become apparent until they are critical.

"Eventually I would have killed myself with it, or it would have killed me," Sharon said. "It was straight down. I don't think I could have pulled myself out of it."

An estimated 6 percent of people with eating disorders will die from starvation or related complications.

Next week, Southeast Missouri State University and Southeast Missouri Hospital will offer free screenings to help identify eating disorders.

At 7 p.m. Monday, Jackie Nielson, a licensed clinical social worker at Southeast Hospital, will give a free program at Cape Girardeau Public Library on symptoms, results and treatment of eating disorders.

On Tuesday and Thursday, area counselors will present free programs and screenings for eating disorders. The sessions will be offered at 8 a.m., 11 a.m., 3 p.m. and 6 p.m. Tuesday at the Generations Center at Southeast Missouri Hospital and at 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. Thursday at Main Street Fitness Center in Jackson. Walk-ins are welcome.

The university will offer screenings from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday in the Riverboat Room of the University Center and starting at noon Saturday before the women's gymnastics meet.

Theories on what triggers eating disorders vary. Most counselors say it is impossible to trace anorexia or bulimia to a single cause.

Linda Vogelsang, a counselor at the university who has worked with Sharon for several years, said: "She started to lose a little weight and that felt good. It takes over, and she lost all control. She became obsessed with not eating,"

Vogelsang blames society's obsession with thinness for eating disorders. One survey she cited said 80 percent of fourth-grade girls had gone on diets to try to lose weight. "That's very scary to me," Vogelsang said.

Claire Laffoon, a counselor at the Community Counseling Center in Cape Girardeau, said biochemical changes in the body may also play a role, just as they do in depression and other psychological disorders.

Chaotic family environments, abuse and poor self-esteem are also possible culprits.

Laffoon said people with eating disorders tend to be perfectionists who want to be able to control their environments, and food intake is an easy thing to manipulate.

Sharon, who was having marital problems when she started dieting, says weight loss was her way of taking control of her life.

She said: "People were telling me how good I looked. My husband responded that way. It was kind of fun, too, because it was empowering. I could do it, and I could do it without too much effort, it seemed."

But the control issue soon went out of control. "I kept telling myself I could quit at any time, but I wasn't quitting," Sharon said.

By the time she was diagnosed she was frequently dizzy, and she often passed out because of lack of food.

Some nights, she said, she went to bed wondering if she would wake up in the morning. "That was OK. Some parts of me really didn't want to."

Sharon said that at times she could feel her heart "messing around." She lied to people about how much she was eating or would eat a few spoonfuls while she was in public so no one would know she was starving herself.

"Game-playing, secrecy is a big part of it," she said.

When she started seeing Vogelsang for therapy, she had to learn how to eat normally again.

Vogelsang said people with eating disorders manipulate food intake as a way to confront their emotions. Part of the therapy is teaching them how to deal with those emotions.

When Sharon and Vogelsang began working together, Sharon was too scared to eat anything.

"I had to sit with her for months," Vogelsang said, recalling how Sharon would "shake uncontrollably" or hyperventilate while she tried to drink a can of Ensure.

"I hated it, because it was taking away some of my control of what I wanted to allow," Sharon said. "Even though I knew intellectually that it was healthy, there was a lot of denial. I didn't really need it. I was only doing it to appease other people."

As she tried to choke down the Ensure, Sharon said she was afraid of gaining weight, of losing control and becoming a failure.

Sharon has begun gaining the weight back. She is now at 114 pounds, but she still feels vulnerable to the disease.

"I'm still real careful, extremely careful about what I eat," she said. "I eat healthy now."

EATING DISORDER FACTS

-- An estimated 8 million Americans, including 1 million men, suffer from eating disorders.

-- 33 percent of eating-disorder patients report their illness started between the ages of 11 and 15.

-- 86 percent report the disease began by the time they were 20. More and more anorexics are being identified in their 20s, 30s and 40s.

-- 77 percent report the disease lasts from one to 15 years.

-- An estimated 6 percent of serious cases die from complications of eating disorders.

-- Treatment can be expensive and may last more than two years. Inpatient treatment can cost $30,000 or more per month. Many patients require repeated hospitalizations and extensive monitoring.

Warning signs

-- Secrecy about binging or purging

-- Abuse of laxatives

-- Severe weight loss or dramatic fluctuations in weight

-- Severe dieting and excessive exercise

-- Menstrual irregularities

-- Cavities and gum disease caused by vomiting or poor nutrition

-- Hair loss due to lack of protein

-- Unusual eating habits such as taking only a few bits (in anorexia)

-- Obsession with food (in bulimia)