WEDDED BLISS

There are as many secrets to a happy marriage are there are happily married couples, says Claire Watson, director of education at the Community Counseling Center.

And there are just as many stories of how couples met and married. Some grew up as family friends, others met by coincidence. Still others were set up on a blind dates and have been married for decades.

The key to a long-lasting marriage is to communicate, Watson said.

"You have to be willing to talk about things that bother you so you don't blow up later on," she said. "And you have to be willing to talk about the good things, too. Sometimes that's just as hard as the other."

Meeting a potential mate today can sometimes be tough, so the Southeast Missourian, through a classified advertisement, asked area couples to tell their stories and imbue the single-but-looking with a sense of hope:

Steve and Sherry Hoernig

Benton, Mo.

It was Steve Hoernig's grandmother who led him to his wife, Sherry.

Sherry Hoernig actually knew her husband's family for two years before she ever met him. Working at a nursing home in Versailles, Mo., where Steve's grandmother lived, she had met his parents and daughter long before meeting him.

Their meeting was somewhat peculiar since Sherry wasn't supposed to be working that day. But she felt an urge to head to the nursing home. She couldn't explain why, but went to visit a patient she'd become friends with.

She stopped by to see Ellene Ashworth, Steve's grandmother, and her roommate. She chatted with Steve's mother and then realized she'd stayed too long -- her teen-age daughter was waiting in the car. As she turned to go, a patient in another room needed help, so Sherry offered aid.

While she was with the patient, Steve and his grandmother passed by. He joked with Sherry about returning to her daughter, who was waiting outside.

Until he spoke to her, Sherry hadn't even known Steve was in his grandmother's room. Steve and his parents had dinner with Sherry later in the week, and the couple soon started dating.

"I'd heard stories about him but never met him until that day," Sherry said.

Only a few months before, Sherry had ended another relationship and mentioned it to Steve's mother in passing.

"She said, 'It sounds like you need to hook up with my son, Steve,'" Sherry said.

Steve's grandmother, who has since died, was a candlelighter at the couple's wedding.

Charlie and Jan Blaylock

Cape Girardeau

Charlie and Jan Blaylock have know each other much longer than the 42 years they've been married.

The couple grew up in Herrin, Ill., attending the same Baptist church. Today, they are both attending First Baptist Church in Cape Girardeau, where Charlie is pastor.

"We've known each other all our lives," Jan said.

As children, Charlie's family lived on one side of town and Jan's on the other. Their parents were friends.

"I don't know not knowing her," Charlie said. "I have a picture of us as 2-year-olds at a birthday party together."

As teen-agers, the pair were friends and ran in the same social circles. "She was my confidant. If I had a problem with a girl I'd talk to her. She was more like a sister," Charlie said.

But the dating relationship didn't start until they were 17. Their parents always encouraged them to take the other as a date to any dances or social functions.

One night after church choir practice, Jan and Charlie walked to her home, where both sets of parents were waiting. Charlie told her to wear his ring and see how long it took their mothers to notice she had it on. Neither did.

Days later at school, the ring fell out of Jan's purse, and the news started flying through the entire school: Charlie and Jan were going steady.

"It was all over school that we were going steady and we'd never had a date," Charlie said. He asked Jan for a date that weekend.

During the next two weeks, he took a different girl out each night. Finally, one Sunday, while sitting with his date in the church balcony and watching Jan walk out with the choir, Charlie realized he had to ask Jan to "go steady. I fell so much for her," he said.

A week after graduating from William Jewel College in Liberty, Mo., the pair was married.

John and Maurine Phillips

Scott City, Mo.

John Phillips knew almost immediately after meeting his wife, Maurine, that the two would be married.

Almost 44 years later, they are still happy.

"My brother set us up," John said of the blind date back in 1957. The couples attended a drive-in movie -- but John isn't sure which one.

"It was a drive-in movie, you know," he said.

After that double-date, John asked Maurine for another. "I think that was the night I proposed," he said. "She said she'd have to think about it, but she didn't have to think long."

The couple was married 17 days later.

Edward and Roberta Rovner

Cape Girardeau

The Rovners met while living in New York almost six years ago, and it was a meeting planned by a higher power, Roberta said.

"God sent my husband my way, and I couldn't have asked for a better person," she said.

Roberta had recently lost her second husband to a massive heart attack and was estranged from her daughter during her time of mourning. While visiting with her brother, Roberta heard that her daughter needed help. She bought the family $100 worth of groceries and left it on her daughter's front steps.

A few days later, the mother and daughter reconciled. While visiting with her daughter, Roberta came across a week-old newspaper with a story about a family friend. Also in that newspaper was a feature about Edward Rovner, who was opposed to some tax initiatives the New York governor was proposing that would affect low-income people.

She began corresponding with Edward and eventually visited him. "We started talking little by little," she said.

Fifty-nine days later, they were married.

"If I had not forgiven my daughter and opened up my arms to her, God would never have made it possible for me to meet this gentleman," Roberta said. "I don't regret it a bit. God has given me a bigger blessing in my husband. I always said that God must have loved me very much to send this man."

Charles and Kathryne Cossairt

Cape Girardeau

It took a little convincing on Charles Cossairt's part to win his wife, Kathryne.

The couple celebrated 59 years of marriage Feb. 7.

The pair first met at a skating rink in Ancell, Mo., which is now Scott City, Mo. Charles was home on leave from the U.S. Air Force and asked Kathryne for a date.

She refused since they'd just met that night, but she did agree to write him once he returned to San Antonio, Texas.

The two corresponded for nearly a year before Charles called to say he was being stationed at the base in Sikeston, Mo. The two dated for about six months before marrying at the First Christian Church in Bloomfield, Mo.

Vicki and C.T. Hendricks

Scott City, Mo.

Vicki and C.T. Hendricks met on a radio dating game that aired on a Washington, D.C., station. Only two guys called that night and one didn't really have much to say.

But during a 15-minute, off-air conversation, Vicki learned that she and C.T. had plenty in common: both like spaghetti, Chinese food and going to the movies.

But the pair got disconnected before they could share phone numbers or other important information.

"Here was a person I thought I could finally have a relationship with and we got cut off," she said. So she took called the deejay back and explained what happened. He said the station wasn't in the habit of sharing that information -- it was up to the callers to do it.

So Vicki shared her phone number and address told the deejay that if C.T. happened to call again, he could give that information out. C.T. called the station and then Vicki the next evening.

"We spent all that week on the phone," she said. "Thank goodness it wasn't long distance."

On a federal holiday from her job, Vicki got the chance to meet C.T. in person. "He asked me to marry him that night."

The couple will celebrate their 28th anniversary Saturday.

"I got my engagement ring on Valentine's Day and was married three days later," Vicki said.

Rod and Laura Shelton

Jackson, Mo.

Organic chemistry wouldn't have been worth it for Rod Shelton, expect that the Southeast Missouri State University course introduced him to his wife, Laura, another student.

The couple met and dated for a few months in 1994 before Rod enlisted in the U.S. Army.

He left in May for training and the couple decided to end their relationship. But after arriving in Korea, Rod thought about Laura and attempted to contact her. But he found out that she was in Michigan working at a summer camp. Her parents gave him a number so he could call her directly.

When Rod called, Laura was in the process of writing him a letter. She, too, had been trying to track him down.

The pair talked on the phone and wrote letters to one another from September through February until Rod came home on leave.

"That was the first time I'd seen her in two years," he said. They spent 13 days together while he was home.

Rod wanted to propose then but didn't before returning to Korea.

Less than a month later, he called her on the phone to propose.

"I couldn't wait any longer," he said. "It's not very romantic since I was halfway around the world."

The couple was married in June 1997.