TRADITIONAL FAMILY NOT SO TYPICAL ANYMORE

With no pretenses of perfection, Sarah Schermann simply is a woman who loves her children and husband and hopes to provide stability for the family.

She believes that can best be accomplished by her not working outside the home.

"I'm the anchor here to take care of things," Schermann said Saturday following her children's swim practice and soccer games.

This traditional family, with mother at home and father at work once typical now is the exception. Only about 25 percent of families today fall into this category.

Sarah and Paul Schermann don't mind being in the minority.

"I feel very lucky, but every family is different," she said. "Whatever makes the family work, that's what people have to do."

The Schermann's have four children: Erinn, 14, Clayton and Colin, 6, and Holly, 3 months.

"Paul and I both went to Central High School," Sarah said. "We were high school sweethearts. We got married while we were in college."

The Schermann's have been married 17 years. Since their marriage began, they knew that wanted one parent to stay home with the children, although Sarah did work outside the home for a while.

"I have an education degree," she said. "I did teach for about five years after we were first married."

When Erinn was born, Sarah stayed home, for a short time, but soon returned to the classroom.

At the time, the Schermanns had recently returned to Cape Girardeau, where Paul started his own accounting business. He recalled those early days: "My income was well, working for someone else, I made twice what I made on my own."

But the Schermanns hoped that eventually the sacrifices would pay off and Sarah would be at home with the children.

"Otherwise, I wouldn't have started my own business," Paul said.

"We just did without," Sarah added.

As Paul's business grew, Sarah began working part-time.

When twin boys, Clayton and Colin, were born in 1985, Sarah quit her part-time teaching job and has been at home since. Holly was born three months ago.

"A lot of it is economics," Paul said. "To pay for day care for the two boys, plus the taxes you have to pay on that money, she would end up making nothing by going back to work."

"We are lucky," Sarah said. "We are fortunate to be able to afford this."

But it's not just the economics that keeps Sarah at home. The Schermanns believe they can do a better job rearing their children that way.

"Children learn more from their parents," Paul said. "That's not saying day cares or nurseries are bad, but the supervision can't be as close as with a parent. Plus, you get a chance to impress your own values on the children."

Sarah said, "I like being a part of my children's lives, seeing them learn and grow. I want to be the one to teach values and to do the discipline.

"I know some women don't think it's that important, but I think it's important."

Paul added that having Sarah at home helps minimize the stress in all their lives except maybe Sarah's.

"With single parents or parents who both work, scheduling is really tough," he said. "If you work, you have to get the kids out of bed or interrupt the flow of things. It's very stressful."

During tax season, Paul works 80 or more hours a week. Yet he still tries to come home each evening for a "sit-down" dinner with the entire family.

Their decision means the children must take priority over other concerns and desires.

"There are lots of things for people our age that we don't do; social events we don't attend," Paul said.

Sarah said, "Our family comes first."

Of course, parenting is hard work and trying to coordinate five other lives can be stressful.

"But it's a different kind of stress," she said. "It's a different kind of work."

With Sarah home, the Schermann children have more opportunities to participate in school and extra-curricular activities, including swimming, soccer, and scouts.

But despite her schedule, there remain those who assume that because she doesn't work Sarah has a lot of extra time on her hands.

She is often asked to serve on committees and projects, even more so now than when Erinn was younger. "I think even more mothers are working."

Erinn, who plans a career as an architect, said she considers her family fortunate to have a mom at home.

"She is always here to help us if we have a question about homework," she said. "It's really nice to have one parent you know will be there."

The Schermanns are skeptical of the family values debate among politicians this campaign season.

"What politicians say and what they believe and do are not always the same," said Paul.

"They talk a good story, but is it real?" Sarah asked.

"I hope they have values," Paul said. "And it is an issue when I vote. I'm interested in ethics and values and I'm looking for someone I can trust."

Paul, who says he's both conservative and a Republican, said with a smile, "I make it a point not to watch Murphy Brown."