TO SOME, ANY POETRY IS 'GREAT'

If you've ever considered entering one of the poetry contests announced through the media, Ken Lipps has a few words of wisdom for you.

"A friend is not a fellow who is taken in by sham.

A friend is one who knows our faults and doesn't give a damn."

That was the mock poem -- a few lines he remembered hanging on a wall in his aunt's house -- that Lipps entered in a contest sponsored by Hollywood's Famous Poets. Lipps, the volunteer coordinator at the Missouri Veterans Home, was on the lookout for come-ons that take advantage of elderly people.

"I'm on a personal campaign against that sort of thing," he said.

Lipps submitted his poem via the Internet. A letter soon arrived announcing that his poem was a semifinalist in the contest, qualifying him to win one of 28 awards, including the $1,000 grand prize. Hollywood's Famous Poets said they were so impressed with his work that their executive committee chose it for "A Treasury of Great Poems," reserved for their most eminent work.

"It doesn't have a thing to do with what kind of poem you write," Lipps has surmised.

The permission form he must return included an order form for the $39.95 anthology his poem will be printed in. Also available are a dedication for $10, a photograph for $15, and an illustration for $25.

Additional poems can be included for $20 each, additional typesetting is $1 per line, plaques are $38 each and postage and handling is $6.

If its literature is accurate, Hollywood's Famous Poets awarded $50,000 in prizes last September. The $15,000 grand prize winner was "I Wanna Be Like Me," a poem that starts: "There's nothing wrong with idolizing a person / whose talents are above the rest. / An athlete, a singer or movie star / their skills are amongst the best... ."

Lipps does not intend to pursue his opportunity to become a published poet. And he doesn't think the Southeast Missourian or other media should announce these contests. "They should have to buy an ad," he said.

The Southeast Missourian does not knowingly publish an announcement for a poetry contest that is an enticement to buy books, but sometimes the difference is difficult to tell.

Many bonafide poetry contests do exist. These usually are sponsored by a university or magazine. "If it has a post office box you might want to be careful," says Dr. Susan Swartout, an English professor at Southeast Missouri State University.

She has had two collections of poetry published and co-edited a poetry anthology. More than 70 of her poems have been published, all after being read by legitimate judges.

"That's most meaningful to me," she says. "That says you are practicing the art well."

Swartout said she doesn't want to discourage people from getting their poetry published another way if seeing their poem in print is what's meaningful to them. "But they need to know that anyone can get published," she said.

Dr. Robert Hamblin, also an English professor at Southeast, says no legitimate poetry contest or literary agent will ask for a reading fee or ask you to pay for a book.

He noted that some Who's Who-type listings work the same way as this poetry contest. "They bill their audience and often there's an entry fee," he said.

Hamblin said such contests are based on a strong lure: the urge to be published.

"All of us who write have early on been sucked into that." A poem of his once appeared in an anthology of the same type.

Lipps says one resident at the Missouri Veterans Home received a notification that implied she'd won a three-wheel scooter. She hadn't, but a high-pressure salesman even told her a TV station would be coming to record her good fortune.

Because few residents at the Missouri Veterans Home have their own phone, they are shielded by the staff from much of the phone solicitation that goes on.