The value of a smile

Almost everyone believes a smile is nice to see. Children are given smiley faces in school when they exhibit good performance or behavior. We smile when we are happy, and to express humor. Smiles are given because it is considered good manners to smile when greeting others. There are many occasions when smiles are desirable and appropriate -- other times when they are crass -- given to express sarcasm or ridicule. But I realized the genuine value of a smile while participating in a road trip recently.

There have been days when I have risen from bed in an unpleasant mood. Although nothing traumatic had occurred, for unexplainable reasons, I felt unloved and dejected. Often, it was a smile from someone that lifted my spirits. A smile that said, "Hey, you are important and loved. You deserve my attention." I felt assured I was worthwhile even though I wondered why anyone would notice me at all that day.

After experiencing the difference a smile made in my attitude, I decided to explore the effect I could have on the lives of others by smiling, sincerely, at them. By that smile I could tell people they mattered, were special and I loved them.

I began to observe waiters and waitresses in restaurants. When I encountered waitresses who smiled and were pleasant, I felt uplifted. In contrast, when I met those who failed to exhibit that warmth I felt unappreciated.

I contemplated that receptionists, particularly, have an important role. The receptionist (hopefully it is a person rather than merely a voice machine) creates my first impression of any establishment. If I am greeted by a smile and a hospitable voice, I feel positive emotions toward whatever or whomever I am about to encounter -- that I am important and liked. "Pleasing words are like a honeycomb, sweet to the taste and healthful to the body" (Proverbs: 16-24). I have often been involved with those asking for financial help, food, gas and other needs. I attempted to smile, and invited them inside to be seated while I saw what was available. I tried to mentally enter into their world, placing myself in their circumstances. Even when I wasn't always able to offer the help people needed, I hoped my smile would make them feel they mattered.

A smile especially has meaning for the bearer. When someone smiles -- whether at another, or because he is happy or amused -- it is therapeutic. "A merry heart does good like a medicine" (Proverbs 17:22). Various studies have shone its medicinal value on the body. And often we pray for the ability to smile, and to feel happiness when we are sad or depressed.

I was dramatically forced to contemplate the value of a smile on my recent road trip. My husband and I were starving and exhausted after driving the larger portion of the day. We spied our favorite buffet type of restaurant and slowed our car to a leisurely stop. We hastily exited the car and entered the establishment. After the waitress seated us at a table near the food bar we began our usual trips back and forth to the buffet, heavily laden with plates overflowing with delicious food. Then, as I sat casually gazing around the room at the various people and décor of the restaurant, I noticed an elderly gentleman advancing toward my table. He appeared to be sad and lonely as he walked dejectedly with his face down, looking toward the floor. He ambled along using a walking cane while attempting to balance his plate of food. I was filled with compassion. He glanced toward my table as he passed by. I looked up at him and smiled, intending to show I believed him to be valuable, even with all his disabilities and advanced age. I gave the gesture no further thought, merely feeling compassion for him.

Much to my surprise, the man abruptly stopped, shuffled his feet, and stared directly into my eyes. I panicked, wondering what I had done. He lifted his walking cane, raised it into the air and said, "Lady, you have a wonderful smile." And he then added, "Thank you." I was stunned at anyone thanking me for something so ordinary as a smile. I could tell the gentleman genuinely absorbed my smile. I vowed, then, to speak kindly and, especially, smile at more individuals each day. The response from the man I encountered, while on my road trip, taught me the real value of a smile.

Ellen Shuck is director of religious education at St. Mary's Cathedral parish in Cape Girardeau.