The people's choices

In democracy's annals, a noble thread of tradition links those ordinary Americans who have stepped forward from daily life to serve their fellow citizens and embody hopes of a brighter future. George Washington. Thomas Jefferson. Abraham Lincoln. Harry S. Truman. Bubba the Love Sponge.

You heard right. The nasty-boy Florida deejay -- a guy who specialized in radio shows that included on-air sex talk by George Jetson and Scooby-Doo -- is doing what comes naturally to so many Americans. He's seeking public office.

There's an election in this country on Tuesday, and in a land where the race for the highest office is the biggest saga of all, an array of oddities are, as usual, providing useful distraction.

In Indiana, it's now or never for Bruce Borders, an Elvis impersonator who wants a seat in his state's legislature -- and is trying to get it for the second time. South Carolina voters can abolish those little airline-style bottles of liquor that state law requires anyone who serves drinks to use. In Berkeley, Calif., voters can decide whether police should make prostitution arrests their lowest priority.

But wait -- there's more. With the 2004 elections, you also get:

A teenager who arrived in the world during Ronald Reagan's second term trying to became agriculture commissioner in West Virginia and end the political career of an incumbent who's held office twice as long as the challenger has been alive.

Democrats in Camden County, N.J., having to troll for their candidates this year. They sent postcards to about 500 citizens saying they'd make great local officeholders. Ninety-seven sent in resumes, and now one -- Carmen Rodriguez -- is on the ballot for freeholder.

A woman born when William Howard Taft was president -- and before members of her gender could legally vote -- wanting to be a U.S. senator from New Hampshire. She takes pains to make it clear: She isn't your cookies-and-milk, cross-stitch-making parlor grandmother.

"I am not a nice old lady," says Doris "Granny D" Haddock, an antiwar candidate whose Web site shows her in a bonnet. It also offers this challenge: "If you have had it with politics as usual, there is no stronger statement you can make than to vote for a 94-year-old woman."

Bubba the Love Sponge, whose real name was Todd Clem before he legally changed it to Bubba the Love Sponge Clem, was fired after he was sanctioned by the Federal Communications Commission for on-air ribaldry.

Now he's running for sheriff in Pinellas County, a retirement haven.