THE NOVICE FLIRT CAN LEARN FROM AN ABUNDANCE OF BOOKS, VIDEOS

Don't call a guy. Apply a little lipstick. Make him wait in the parlor.

It sounds like what Mom told you in the 1950s, but the wisdom has resurfaced in "The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right." It's one of many books available to the lovelorn readying to spend another Valentine's Day alone.

Forget feminism, authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider say. Do you want your principles or do you want a husband or boyfriend who adores you? They advocate a return to the days when kissing on the first date was a no-no and women never, ever made the first move.

Well, maybe she can make the first move, if it's the right one. According to the book, it's the woman's job to show up looking her best at men-filled events. Bright, sexy clothes are preferable -- flattering pantyhose and lots of leg are a must.

Fein and Schneider suggest women on the prowl make an entrance, grab a Perrier and start mingling, not standing around looking desperate. She should breathe slowly with her shoulders back, looking as though everything in her life is in order.

That's the kind of flirting that lures them in, the book says. Once a woman is on a date, her body language and verbal cues can get a little more specific.

"On a date, your answers are short, light, flirtatious," the book says. "When your hair falls in front of your face, you tilt your head back and comb back your hair with your hand from the top of your head in a slow, sweeping motion."

A little sickening? Maybe a more 1990s approach is right for you. Most video dealers can order "Flirting -- How to Do It Right." It offers a step-by-step approach for men and women who want to learn the fine art of flirting by today's standards.

A few fictional movies featuring famous flirts might not be a bad idea, either.

Books for men on catching the perfect woman are much harder to find. "1001 Ways to be Romantic" by Gregory J.P. Godek has tips for both sexes and for people who are single, dating or married.

The book suggests a man interested in a woman in his office should send her a dozen pink roses but put one pink rose on his desk. Nature, presumably, will take its course.

But let the bachelor beware -- flirting with gifts may be disastrous for men, "1001 Ways" warns. Any jewelry given in a square box spells "marriage proposal" for women, Godek says, so anything short of an engagement ring should be presented in a more creative, less boxed manner.

For the really intense student of flirting and other assorted body language, there are classes devoted to the subject at Southeast Missouri State University. Dr. Michael Weatherson, a professor in the Speech and Communications Department, teaches a course on non-verbal communications.

"If you think you will pick up a book and it will teach you all these signals to attract the best, you're going to be disappointed," he said. "There are different levels of sensitivity. Sometimes people are aware of the signals and don't feel comfortable acting on them."

Even if they haven't taken a course, most people flirt without even realizing it. Sometimes it results in a great Valentine's Day.

If it doesn't, there's always next year.