The joys of summer

It's June! A hot and boring month. On the upside, it is the beginning of the summer season and a good time for summer activities and/or vacations. Though the latter has become foreign to me lately, aside from the quick jaunts to and from the STL which proves to be typically more of a stressor than a relaxing break.

I did go to the Bahamas once with a friend and her family. It is gorgeous there and the water is crystal clear. However, upon viewing the photos from that trip, I have to cringe a little. Unfortunately, I felt the need to do the whole corn row braid thing. My hair was cut right above my shoulders, so I only had half my hair done. Not only did my hair poof out like a mushroom cap, but it appeared that I had the worst case of dandruff known to man due to sun scalding my scalp. It peeled and peeled for days. Gross.

Moving right along! Obviously nowadays I haven't the money nor time to drive 16 hours to Florida nor anywhere else requiring an extended stay. So I'll settle for the local weekend trips.

There is a lot to do around here really. Outdoorsy stuff that is. The first and only time I went canoeing was rather bizarre. The family had planned a weekend at Montauk State Park, or some place equivalent. While the guys went fishing in perfectly normal civilization, my aunts and I embarked on a canoeing adventure. We kept following the signs, wandering deeper and deeper into the woods. Finally we see a shifty looking shack on the side of the road with a large sign that read, "Ken's Gun Shop". We pull in to inquire of the canoe place, only to find that Ken's gun shop was indeed, where we rented the boat. There were many, many guns and very few canoes. They took our money, pointed at the canoe rack which clearly had not been used lately, and then stood silently and watched as we struggled with the boats and dragged them to the water. I think I heard a banjo in the distance. Finally getting underway, I turned around to stare wistfully at our vehicle, wondering if it will start, or even be there, when we get back, and I see the dudes still standing on the bank watching! As if that weren't bad enough, after we had been floating down the river awhile, I see some human forms standing on a cliff, looking down. We are talking about a scene straight from the movie "Deliverance", I kid you not.

The first and only time I've water skied was years ago and almost as traumatic as the hillbilly river ride. I had always wanted to water ski, but never had the chance. I was so excited and, believe it or not, I got up on the very first try! So everything was going great with the skis until the boat turned and I straddled a wave. The ricocheting pain throughout my nether region was blinding. I'll spare you the grisly details, but let's just say walking was somewhat difficult the next day. Enough said.

I've been floating! Once. Anyway, that was a big stupid drunk-fest. I guess you've heard they are cutting back with the alcohol on the rivers. No kegs, beer bongs, or Jell-O shots. You've got to be a hard core floater to haul a keg on a raft if you ask me. Though the Jell-O shots can be effective when trying to wake sleeping floaters who may have had a bit too much too early. Just chuck 'em at the rafts. Anyway, shoving off was a spectacle. We got stuck immediately and I'm trying to haul the boat through the frigid water while my boat-mates are seated, applying sun-block and the drunken idiots on the bank are hooting and hollering at the silly girl in the bikini who can't budge the boat. Heaven forbid anyone help.

Guess how many times I've been to the winery? Yep. That one time was great fun, though. Everyone tends to become friends after a while. It's actually pretty cool, a lot of the wineries around here have neat festivals during the summer with bands and catered food, etc. I'm just waiting for a winery shuttle.

My summer will be another one of working. Nothing that different except I'll sweat even more than usual. However, I am coming at you now as a full-time writer, which makes me happy. I'll probably try to squeeze in a few float trips, maybe some camping, and if that winery shuttle appears, you'll find me there most Saturdays. Anyway, whatever your summer plans may be, have fun, be careful, and don't forget to sunscreen your scalp if you decide to get corn rows.