THE CASE OF THE WATERMELON PATCH MYSTERY; CHAPTER TWO: MY SCARY STORY STARTS TO GET OUT OF HAND (PART 2 OF 14)

THE STORY SO FAR: Hank and Drover were eating breakfast when Hank begins spinning a yarn to scare Drover but wait, maybe Hank is the one that ends up scared...

So there we were in front of the machine shed, Drover and I. I was telling him a wild yarn about a red hairy gorilla that I'd found in the feed barn, and I had the little mutt scared out of his wits.

"He came slouching towards me, Drover."

"Oh my gosh!"

"With long sharp fangs."

"Oh my gosh!"

"Arms as thick as tree trunks."

"Oh my gosh!"

"And he came after me, Drover, grunting and growling and grinding his teeth together. He had his hands raised over his head and they were spread like claws and I could see the drops of green poison dripping off the poison stingers."

"Oh my gosh!"

"And just then, a loud moaning wind came along and blew the door shut."

Heh, heh. You should have seen him Drover, that is. His eyes were as big around as silver dollars. I had the little mutt so scared, he was ready to jump into next week.

"Oh, I would have died right there!"

"I was cornered, Drover, locked in a dark room with a red-eyed hairy gorilla with poison-stinger claws. And he was coming towards me like a whole cottonwood tree slouching through the darkness."

"Don't tell me any more, Hank. I can't stand it."

I had begun to act out the gorilla's part, see. I was stalking towards Little Mister Saucer-Eyes, and he was all bunched up in a ball and shrinking away from me.

"And he kept coming, Drover. I could hear his feet hitting the ground: RUMP, RUMP, RUMP! The sound of those feet shook the entire feed barn and caused little plumes of dust to fall from the ceiling."

Say, this was fun. Drover's eyes had now grown to five times their original size, and the hair had sprung up along his backbone.

"Hank, I think that's about all I can stand."

"He kept coming, Drover, and I could feel his hot breath on my face."

"Hank, there's somebody behind you!"

"And the gorilla kept coming, and I could see those glowing red. ... what did you say?"

"I said, don't look now but a headless cowboy just walked out of the machine shed!' "

I stared at the little mutt. For a moment I didn't know whether to laugh or to give him a tongue lashing for butting into my story. I decided on the tongue lashing.

"Drover, did your mother ever tell you that it's rude to interrupt someone's story with absurd comments?"

"I don't remember, but. ..."

"But you butted into my story anyway. Well, let me tell you something, son. I was in the middle of telling you a great adventure story, but instead of listening and being a polite audience, you intruded with an absurd comment about. ... what was it?"

"A headless cowboy, I think."

"Yes, exactly. Rubbish, Drover. There's no such thing as a headless cowboy."

"Maybe, but there's a great big guy with claws and no head behind you. And I think he's fixing to eat us for supper."

"Hold it, halt, stop right there. Let me point out a flaw in your ointment."

"I don't have any ointment."

"All right, then the fly in your argument."

"I don't have a fly, and if I did, it'd buzz off right now."

"That's cute, Drover, but I'm afraid that it won't help you out of this interrogation. Point One: Headless Cowboys, by definition, cannot eat because they have neither heads nor mouths nor teeth. Point Two: Even if they could eat, at this time of day they would be eating breakfast, not supper. Point Three: There is no such thing as a Headless Cowboy, so this whole argument is pointless."

Wow! Sometimes my interrogations scare even me. I mean, when I get on a roll with stabbing questions and slashing wit, it's just pretty derned impressive. Nothing is safe. Why, in just a matter of seconds, I had. ...

"Hank, I think you'd better turn around and look."

"OK, fine. So I'll turn around and ... HUH?"

Holy smokes, you won't believe this, I turned around very slowly and saw a huge two-legged headless cowboy, with his claws out and no head sitting on top of his shoulders! And he was fixing to snatch me up with those claws and bite me half in two!

NEXT CHAPTER: A headless cowboy has appeared on the ranch and Hank must decide what to do.