Thankful People — A rose from concrete: Cape Girardeau life coach Julian Watkins talks resilience, thankfulness

Low points, loved ones and a strong ability to communicate — these are some of the things for which Julian Watkins is most thankful.

Watkins, a 33-year-old Cairo, Illinois, native, has practiced law at multiple levels, before coaching basketball, leading a local not-for-profit and ultimately becoming a life coach in Cape Girardeau.

Despite the titles he’s held, Watkins can recall a time when he wasn’t appreciative of his own abilities and the positions he’s held.

“I think I took a lot of things for granted,” he said. “Once you really take a step back and look at why you are where you are, you’re able to really appreciate the things around you a whole lot more.”

Watkins has seen more than most and experienced more than average. In corporate law, he battled depression that led to drug dependency in the face of mounting challenges and a lack of fulfillment in his career path. Now, he jokingly refers to himself as a “recovering attorney,” a half-hearted moniker speaking to the positive outlook grown through his struggles.

Julian Watkins, originally of Cairo, Illinois, and now Cape Girardeau, poses for a portrait Nov. 13 at the Southeast Missourian photo studio in Cape Girardeau.Jacob Wiegand

The road to becoming more appreciative is known to Watkins as self-discovery, a path for which he has immense thanks.

“I honestly could not be more thankful for anything, ’cause just starting on a journey of self-discovery and self-improvement was huge for me, because I was headed in quite the opposite direction. I felt like I had hit a peak and was drifting through expecting to coast out of life. Once I hit rock bottom ... that journey was absolutely necessary.”

Coming out of initial his self-discovery, Watkins found himself operating with what he calls a growth mindset.

“In the growth mindset, you’re going to fail a bunch of times. It’s pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone and being willing to accept failure as a part of the process. If you’re not thankful, it’s not going to work for you.”

He defines thankfulness with one simple word: gratitude. To him, that word must be applied to the totality of a person’s experiences, no matter their impact.

“I think you have to be just as grateful for the negative times as the positive times,” Watkins said. “Am I thankful [negative times] happened? Absolutely, because I’m able to be grateful for the things I have now and just appreciate life.”

In Watkins’ eyes, showing gratitude is a healthy and beneficial product of his maturation.

As a man, Watkins found trouble working through major changes in his private life, including a difficult divorce. These stressors eventually found him returned to Cairo doing janitorial work at his alma mater, where he found life to be much of the same.

The process of growing as a rose from concrete can be hellacious on a person’s psyche, certainly when they feel they’ve begun to wilt from the once proud and colorful bud they were becoming.

Returning home was a big moment in Watkins’ life, yet as he made the transition from corporate law to high school custodian, his depression remained a constant.

Though he’s worked on vastly different ends of the career spectrum, Watkins doesn’t view the world with a negative or unappreciative tint because of the mountains he’s had to climb. Instead, he thinks with perspective and understands with empathy, traits nurtured by positive and negative experiences.

He doesn’t accept the term “renaissance man.” Instead, he offers “jack-of-all-trades, master of none,” in a tone of certainty.

“I’m OK at a lot of stuff,” Watkins said.

Though the battle-rapping lawyer has a lofty ticket of trades and abilities, those things aren’t where most of his gratitude lies.

“My family, my support system ... are the things that I’m most thankful for.”

He also cites an ability to connect with others as a source of personal thankfulness.

He’s relied on human connection to rescue him from some of his lowest points. The people around him are his support system, he said.

“I’m thankful that I have people there to fall back on. My wife has been a huge support for me. [She] basically saved my life in several situations,” Watkins said.

This vulnerability, being able to open up and seek help from others, is a hard-earned trait Watkins said he’s still cultivating.

“I’m still growing that ability. You can only be so vulnerable before you feel weak. I’m still working on being able to reach out for help. It’s a balance between not wanting to feel like a burden and wanting to seek help. [Being vulnerable] is a journey of self-discovery,” Watkins said.

To Watkins, thankfulness is a pure feeling, free of guilt and any sense of owing. He expressed that differing perspectives can influence people’s unique love languages. Those influences then alter the way one offers and accepts thankfulness.

“For some people [showing thankfulness} is your actions. If I bring you a gift and say, ‘I’m thankful for you,’ it’s going to mean a lot more than if I do something in return for you. It just depends on the perspective of the person giving and receiving things.”

Watkins is certainly not the first to realize how unique love languages are, but he does contribute a point some may tend to overlook — giving and receiving thanks in different ways, with filters set by experiences.

His lowest points made significant changes in his spirit, which transformed him into a multifaceted entrepreneur who learned as much being a janitor as he did working corporate law, so it makes sense he praises his struggles with no intent to return.

To Watkins, thankfulness comes from a place free of debt and recompense and is shown however it is best received between individuals.

“Being thankful has to come from a pure place, otherwise it doesn’t mean as much.”