Stay-at-home families

RIDGEWOOD, N.J. -- The TV was off-limits for the night, and the phone was only for emergencies. Dinner was take-home pizza so no one would waste time cooking.

And the highlight of the evening at the Winkler home was board games with the grandparents.

It was all part of Ridgewood Family Night, a concerted effort by the community's nearly 30,000 residents to set aside just one night with no sporting events, practices, office meetings or homework.

"It's very exciting -- no soccer, no lacrosse, no baseball," said Kathy Winkler, 43.

Seven-months planning

It took Ridgewood officials seven months to plan for Tuesday's one night off. An 18-member committee had to meet several times, school officials and spiritual leaders had to be convinced, and a publicity campaign was launched.

The city's slogan after all this additional work was "Ridgewood Family Night -- Ready, Set, Relax."

Kathy Winkler and her husband David, 45, spent Tuesday night playing Monopoly with their three children, Max, 11; Jack, 9; and Alex, 6; and grandparents, 85-year-old Joe Winkler and his 73-year-old wife Gerrie.

The whole family gathered around a worn wooden table in the corner of their living room and chose up sides for Monopoly.

"I just realized that it's ironic. This is a game I played when I was a teen-ager," said Joe Winkler.

It appeared that most of Ridgewood stayed home Tuesday night. Vehicles flowed freely through the usually traffic-choked downtown and shops and restaurants were nearly deserted, although a cold drizzle may have had something to do with that.

Marcia Marra, a frustrated mother of three, came up with the idea for family night last year. As she helped other families through her work with the nonprofit Family Counseling Service, she realized her own family was spending less time together.

Marra took the night so seriously that she re-recorded her own telephone answering machine to inform callers that she was enjoying a quiet night at home with her family, and to please call back tomorrow. Leaving a message was not an option.

Opting out

Despite the best of intentions, not everyone who wanted to observe family night could. Rosemary Chersi looked forward to some quality time at home with her husband and three sons. But a busy day at work stretched into the evening, and he couldn't make it home until late.

Ridgewood, about 20 miles west of New York City, is not alone in its stand against overscheduling. Three years ago, the Minneapolis suburbs of Plymouth and Wayzata formed an organization called Family Life 1st, urging parents to think carefully before signing children up for new activities.

Kathy Winkler said it was particularly difficult getting the many sports leagues to agree not to hold games or practices on a particular night.

Usually, half the family hardly sees the other half between kids being shuttled back and forth to various practices and games.

"We rarely eat together," said David Winkler, a corporate insurance broker who commutes 45 minutes to an hour to Manhattan every day. "There's really not time for family dinners too often. We fit it in when we can."

The best thing as far as the children were concerned was not having any homework.

Kathy Winkler said her children average two hours of homework a night.

"Sometimes they're doing their homework on the sidelines of a basketball game or in the car on the way there or the way back," she said. "If we get one night a month without anything scheduled it's a lot."

"I didn't even have to yell tonight," she said, laughing. "It's always, 'Get upstairs! Do your homework! Get your cleats on! Get your uniform on!"

In addition to a night with no homework, Jack Winkler said he just enjoyed having his entire family together.

"I think it's important to spend more time with your family because some families don't get to do it too much."