Signs stir debate on children's behavior in public places

~ Some patrons have made impassioned pleas for child-free zones.

Grace Parry has seen it all too often: Parents coming into her Cape Girardeau cafe and socializing with friends as their young children were let loose to stomp around her shop and do whatever they want.

"That usually meant destroying property," Parry said. "And that costs me money."

So she posted a sign saying unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy.

She wanted the sign to serve as a gentle -- and humorous -- reminder to parents to keep an eye on their children and set some limits.

It is a sentiment that business owners are feeling increasingly comfortable expressing, with several similar signs in area restaurants, beauty parlors and coffee shops.

Some patrons -- parents and nonparents alike -- have made impassioned pleas for child-free zones. Those without children say a screaming litter of triplets can put a damper on a romantic evening. Others say it is frustrating to hire a baby sitter for their own children, only to have somebody else's child yell over their conversation from across the room.

Some parents are fine with setting limits and complain that too many of their peers take their children to places traditionally meant for adults, such as late-night movies and rock concerts.

"There are times when you see parents out with their kids and you say, 'This isn't socializing, this is a free-for-all,'" said Donna Rosanswank, a Cape Girardeau mother of four. "If you've got a screaming 2-year-old throwing a tantrum, leave the restaurant or supermarket and make them behave."

However, Rosanswank believes taking children to restaurants is a good way to teach them how to behave in public. She has a full arsenal that includes a deadly stare and loss of privileges.

And when she calls her children by their first and middle name, well, they know Mom's serious. If she says Emma Kaylene or Claire Eliza, they know what it means: Uh-oh, she's about to start yelling, Rosanswank said.

Dr. Gale McMahan, interim chair of the elementary and early special education department at Southeast Missouri State University, admits it's a hard situation.

"But ultimately, parents are responsible for their child's behavior," she said. "They're the first teacher. They're the first person to discipline. They should teach their children what is and isn't acceptable behavior."

Still, she said, parents should work their children up to eating at a restaurant. Start by having others, say their grandparents, come over for dinner. Then go to child-friendly restaurants and then, when the child is ready, take them to a more grown-up place to eat.

"When you do that, you're teaching them how to handle themselves at all of these levels," she said.

McMahan said she also sees the side of the business owners, who also should worry about liability. If a child gets hurt in a business, then the business could be held financially responsible, she said.

That was a big factor for Rick James, who owns Mighty Sharp Salon on Broadway. This sign hangs in his window: "Sorry, no children allowed unless services are being rendered. No exceptions."

James, echoing Parry, said he has nothing against children. Both, in fact, have children of their own. But he worries about a child getting hurt in his shop.

The previous owner of Mighty Sharp had a child hurt his head while there, and James said he didn't want to take any chances.

"Besides," he said. "Some women are here six hours or more getting their hair done. Kids get bored easy. That's not the environment you want."

Keith Whitworth, father of two, could have the perfect solution. He suggests restaurants implement sections for "kids" and "no kids" like they do for smokers.

"So when we go out with our kids, we don't feel uncomfortable when our kids are making noise and when I go out with my wife, we could go to the kids free side," he said. "I'm surprised restaurants don't do this already."

smoyers@semissourian.com

335-6611, extension 137