SERVICE REMEMBERS THOSE WHO DIED IN PAST

The Rev. Gary Brothers knows how tough losing a relative or friend to death can be, particularly when that loss comes during the holiday season.As pastor at First Assembly of God Church, Brothers officiates at many funerals for church and community members, but just last week, he experienced that same loss in his family.While away on a trip to Israel, Brothers learned his grandfather had fallen ill and was not expected to live. Only 30 minutes after Brothers received the devastating news, his grandfather died. And with only an hour left of visitation, Brothers arrived at the funeral home to officiate at his grandfather's funeral. "It was one of the most important funerals I've ever participated in," he told a crowd of people Sunday at Ford and Sons Funeral Chapel on Mount Auburn Road.Brothers joined nearly 400 people at memorial services to remember loved ones who died within the past year. Separate services were sponsored by Ford and Sons and Lorberg funeral homes.Brothers led the crowd at Ford and Sons in a dedication prayer for a "Remembrance Tree" that will serve as a reminder of "good times and will promote the hope of a better future."There are things we all share, Brothers said, and grief is one of them. "The Bible says we should weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice," he said, adding that there can be comfort and companionship along the road to recovery.That's exactly why Ford and Sons offers the remembrance service. "We wanted to provide help during the grief period," said Walter Ford, and, Cliff Ford added, "the holidays are always hard, particularly during that first year." By coming to the remembrance service, people can see they aren't alone and there are others dealing with loss, organizers say."Death does hurt," said Monsignor Edward Eftink of Immaculate Conception Church in Jackson. Even Jesus wept at the tomb of his friend Lazarus.Death isn't an end, but a drastic change in life, he said, adding: "Death is a birth into eternity."Nearly 375 names of people who have died in the past year were listed during the Ford and Sons service. Many of their relatives strained to see the names as they were scrolled on a projector screen. Others sobbed or wiped away tears as they watched the names scroll. Betty Kuss of Lorberg Memorial Funeral Chapel said losing a relative or loved one is always hard, but the program Sunday was "sort of uplifting." The New Creations Choir from the Mid-America Teen Challenge sang Christmas carols and holiday songs to brighten the mood.Both funeral homes offer pamphlets with tips on how to deal with grief during the holidays.

COPING WITH GRIEF

* Consider changes to family traditions or try new ideas for celebrations.* Do one special thing for someone else during December.* Contribute to a favorite charity in your loved one's name.* Pamper yourself.* Talk about your grief and take time to cry.* Embrace memories of your loved one.* Express your faith; spend time with supporting and comforting people.* Be tolerant of physical and psychological limits. * Eliminate unnecessary stress.