SERIES FOR SIBLINGS PLANNED

Steven Nation sometimes feels jealous of the attention given his 7-year-old sister, Rebecca, who has cerebral palsy.

As the sibling of a special needs child, he sometimes feels his needs get pushed aside. Such feelings may be natural, but they can also be difficult for a 12-year-old to understand.

So he's looking forward to attending Saturday's Sibshop, the first of six monthly meetings aimed at providing support for 8- to 13-year-old siblings of special needs children.

Sibshops, based on a model described in a book by Donald J. Meyer and Patricia F. Vadasy, were developed about 10 years ago.

This is the first one offered in Southeast Missouri, said Cindy Brotherton, one of the parents working to organize the Sibshops.

Brotherton said her desire to bring Sibshops to the area stems from watching the issues her oldest daughter, Lindsey, 9, has had to deal with in connection with her 6-year-old daughter, Ashley, who has Down's syndrome.

"My husband and I attend a support group where we talk to other parents," Brotherton said. "This will give siblings a chance to talk to other siblings."

Siblings of special needs children can feel guilt, jealousy, embarrassment, anger, a whole range of emotions, said Margie Nation, Steven Nation's mother and another Sibshop organizer. She is also the mother of 7-year-old twins, Rachel and Rebecca, and Rebecca has cerebral palsy.

"We want these siblings to know there are others out there with the same feelings," Nation said. "Steven won't always come to me because he thinks it will hurt my feelings."

Leading Sibshop on Saturday will be Leslie Elpers and Christina Simmers, both adults who grew up with siblings who were disabled.

Elpers is president of the Ability Network based in St. Genevieve, a statewide network that provides services and support to children and adults with special needs. She grew up with a brother with cerebral palsy.

She remembers her feelings of anger when people would stare at her brother and feelings of hurt if anyone made fun of him. At life, milestones like graduation, getting married and adopting a child, she would feel guilty her brother would never have these things.

Elpers plans to share such experiences in hopes it will encourage the young participants to share their own feelings.

"I hope the children will feel free to express their feelings," Elpers said. "We want to get across to them that it's OK to have those feelings, no matter what they are. And we will share ways of dealing with those feelings."

But the four-hour Sibshop, which will be 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturday, won't be all talk. There will be games for fun, and much of the sharing and discussion will be disguised as fun activities, Nation said.

For instance, participants will play "Dear Aunt Blabby," a scenario game in which the children figure out ways to handle different situations.

Participants will also prepare, eat then clean up after lunch.

"Eating is such a good bonding activity," Nation said. "They won't be under any pressure to talk, but we hope they will talk to each other, find a friend and talk about things."

The six sessions of Sibshop will be Saturday, April 29, May 20, Sept. 23, Oct. 21 and Nov. 18.

A $10 registration fee covers all six sessions and includes lunch.

"You don't have to come to all six," Brotherton said, "but we encourage attending them all since we are trying to build bonds, friendships and a support system."

SIBSHOPS

What: A program for 8- to 13-year-old siblings of special needs children.

When: 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. saturday with five other monthly sessions to follow.

Where: Salvation Army, 701 Good Hope St.

Cost: $10 registered fee includes all six sessions.

For information/registration: Call Cindy Brotherton, 243-0520 or (800) 646-2132.

Sibshop series starts Saturday.