SEMO STUDENTS LEARN PROPER ETIQUETTE; AMBASSADORS GIVEN LESSON FROM EXPERT

Of the 30 students assembled Monday night for a formal dinner and etiquette workshop, none had ever eaten an artichoke before.

"Oh, this is going to be fun," said Dorothy Hanrahan, an etiquette consultant billed as "the Emily Post of St. Louis."

The students are members of the Presidential Ambassadors, who represent Southeast Missouri State University president Dale Nitzschke at social functions by mingling with visiting dignitaries and making guests feel comfortable. Hanrahan was invited to the Show Me Center to school the elite group in the dos and don'ts of dining and decorum.

Etiquette goes beyond a set of social niceties, Hanrahan said. Knowing how to handle yourself in social situations is important in the business world. "Having good manners and etiquette give you the edge."

Both criticism of other people and gum chewing can cost you that edge, she said.

Her 90-minute presentation provided protocol on how to shake hands, how to introduce yourself and how to remember names.

"You are judged by your handshake and, far more than you realize, you judge others," she said.

Hanrahan laments the banquet where people who sat at the same table leave without knowing who all their table mates were.

"It's your duty to introduce yourself," she said.

And "I'm not good at remembering names" is no excuse, she said.

Her suggestions for remembering names: Pay attention, use the person's name in conversation, look at the person's face, and make a personal connection with the name, perhaps through a rhyme or association with a movie star.

Eye contact is very important, she said. Direct contact should be made 40 to 60 percent of the time. Less than that and you could be perceived as shy or shifty. More than that amounts to staring, she said.

Her advice on making an entrance: Pause briefly to spot key people you want to talk to. "The key is, act as if you belong," she said.

Eating a small amount of food before going to a social event is smart, Hanrahan says. "You don't want to appear hungry or thirsty."

Before the students were served a dinner of vichyssoise, artichoke, baked chicken, mixed vegetables, bread and poached pears, Hanrahan led them through the ABCs of dining. They included a rundown of the various kinds of silverware and glasses, handling of the knife and fork, how to take your seat and excuse yourself, when to begin eating, toasting and how to handle a napkin.

Napkins have come a long way since the Renaissance. In those days, the etiquette specialist said, rich people simply wiped their hands on their servants' hair.

Hanrahan works for the Ritz Carlton Hotel in St. Louis and teaches manners to 12-to-14-year-olds for the Junior League. She is a former schoolteacher who is certified by the Protocol School of Washington, D.C.

Others who teach etiquette in St. Louis concentrate on makeup and poise, she says. "They're important, but I'm more concerned with leadership," she says.

Michelle Gruber, president of the Presidential Ambassadors, thinks the experience of entertaining visitors to the campus will help the students when they start looking for jobs. "There is a degree of responsibility and leadership that comes with it," she said. "And you're meeting people you would not have gotten to meet."