SEARCHING FOR LOVE ON THE INTERNET

John Alanis' approach to finding true love is very new century and businesslike. The Internet both expands your amorous database and helps narrow your search, says the 29-year-old, who has recorded an audio book on the topic.

Instead of Dolly Levi, America Online plays matchmaker.

The Internet cuts down on both the time spent searching for someone and the time spent in fruitless dating, Alanis says.

"Meeting people face-to-face may take weeks and weeks, and you may have three or four dates before you find out this person isn't my type," Alanis said. "You can really leverage your time."

Alanis is a small business owner who drives a Mercedes, calls "Winning Through Intimidation" his favorite book and has not yet found his own true love on the Internet (see ad at www.datingfaces.com/john). But the Austin, Texas, man is so convinced of the Internet's romantic possibilities that he's peddling a Valentine's Day evening with himself on E-Bay, the Internet auction Web site.

Initially he was auctioning himself for the evening and had received eight bids with a high bid of $86, but E-Bay shut down the auction prematurely because auctioning people isn't allowed.

So he's auctioning a ticket to accompany him on Valentine's Day. It could be an extravagant evening because he's going to match the amount of the high bid. So far, no new bids have come in.

Alanis is the author of the audio book "The Lazy Way to Dating Success: How to Find Your True Love from the Comfort of Your Home ... in Only Minutes Per Day." The book is a compendium of strategies for meeting people via the Internet.

The book came about after Alanis discovered his roommate, Richard, had no trouble meeting women on the Internet.

"He showed me (how) in an hour and a half and got pictures from three different women," Alanis said. The book is a conversation between the two men in which they reveal those strategies. "It's really a system," Alanis said.

The first step he advises taking is to search AOL members' profiles for marital status, age and city of residence to come up with a list of possibilities. Some of these people may even have placed a personal ad.

The search will turn up a screen full of names and will tell you who is online at that moment. If you spot someone interesting you can monitor their conversations, and if you like what you read, approach them online, Alanis said.

The biggest mistake men make is sending e-mail to an attractive woman who has posted an ad on the Internet, he said.

"Most women may get up to 50 e-mails in a day, he said, and "the chances of them reading yours is slim and none."

A different approach is advised for women. The last time he checked, there were 53 women in Austin running personal ads on AOL and 435 men.

"Yours may be the only response he gets all week," Alanis said.

But a woman who doesn't put a photo or a link with her ad limits the number of responses she will receive, he said.

"Guys are very visual," Alanis said. "They automatically think the woman is unattractive."

Go the other way, he said. Post a good photo of yourself smiling and offer to provide more pictures.

"You'll be deluged with mail," he advised. "Men love to look at women."

He is exasperated by women who place a personal ad that says they just want to be friends.

"If a guy is looking for friends he'll hang out with his buddies," Alanis said.

Some of his theories of attraction have nothing to do with the Internet. Asking the question, "What is important to you about X?" keeps deepening the conversation between two people, no matter what the topic, he said. "It creates a loop, and to answer the question you have to access deeper and deeper. Once somebody shares something like that you have shared a secret."

He also has deduced women want the kind of men found in romance novels. The hero is not a nice guy.

"He's a little dangerous, a cop or a cowboy, and when they meet at first it's very abrasive," Alanis said. "The guy's a stereotypical jerk."

But a jerk with one exception.

"Underneath the manliness are these raging emotions that every now and then he lets out to the heroine," Alanis said. "That's what seals the deal right there. It drives women crazy."

He knows because he has read some of these novels.

Hanging out in the romance novel aisle of a bookstore is one of the best ways to meet women, he said.

"A guy who creates these emotional challenges brings in a lot of girls," Alanis said. "Women require drama."

Alanis has had dates with women he met on the Internet.

"Some turned out good, some not good," he said. "All you're doing is slanting the odds in your favor."

Things to beware of when surfing the Internet for love are people who are not honest and perhaps don't intend to meet you in the first place. Ask for multiple casual pictures that prove the person has friends.

Overuse of the Internet is another warning sign, he says.

"If they're online every time you check your e-mail, they probably don't have a life."

Copies of Alanis' audio book are available for $29.95 at AOS Publishing, 12407 Mo-Pac #100-289, Austin, Texas 78758.

This morning, Schnucks will honor couples who found love the old-fashioned way. Couples who have been married 50 years or more will be treated to a Valentine's Day celebration at 8 o'clock at the Holiday Inn Convention Center. They will be served breakfast, be entertained with music and have a chance to win prizes.

Last year, 250 couples attended. So far, 227 couples have signed up for today's event. A spokeswoman said registration is not required but helps organizers gauge how many people to prepare for. The store phone number is 334-9191.