SAFE HOUSE OFFERS HELP TO THOSE WHO MAY NEED A FRIEND

Sometimes a woman who is leaving a violent relationship really needs a friend.

In addition to the regular services offered by Cape Girardeau's Safe House for Women, the organization has initiated a new mentor program pairing volunteers with women who have recently left the Safe House shelter.

"We hope to keep closer, direct contact with the women," said Dena Pehlman, shelter director. "Then if the woman gets scared or feels the need to move back to the old relationship, they have someone to talk to."

The need to expand support for women increased when the Safe House and First National Bank announced the addition of 8 transitional apartments.

Pehlman said that expansion of the Safe House role led to expansions in other areas, including the new mentor program.

Three volunteer mentors completed training in August and have been working with families. Two additional mentors will begin work next month.

Initial response has been positive, said Linda Schield and Betty Freeman, volunteer coordinators of the mentor program.

"Mentors are to help women develop independence and self confidence by building their self esteem and helping them find their strengths," explained Schield.

Freeman added, "We stress the fine line between being a mentor and becoming a `family' member. The shelter wants the mentor to be an extension of us and a guideline for the women and their children."

Additional volunteer mentors are needed, Pehlman said.

"We are looking for good, steady, church-going women who are looking for a way to help others," Pehlman said.

Training includes the 15 hours of volunteer training, required of anyone who works with the Safe House, 10 hours of outside training, which can include reading, and five hours of shelter training.

Once assigned a family, the mentor makes daily contact by phone or in person.

"They talk about basic necessities like food and clothing and shelter," Pehlman said. "But they also talk about other things like job skills and parenting skills."

In addition to the mentor program, the Safe House has increased its educational efforts.

Pehlman is teaching a program on teen-age domestic violence awareness at Cape Girardeau Central High School.

She is also available to make presentations to area civic organizations, church or youth groups.

"I'm a huge believer in education and increased awareness at a younger age," Pehlman said. "Kids need to know there is a place to go and a place to call for help."

The course is designed for students ages 13 to 17 or can be adapted to train teachers, Pehlman said.

Funded by a grant, the program will deal with issues such a peer pressure, domestic violence, family life, date rape and date violence.

"The first day at Central High, four girls came up to me and told me about violent situations they were in or they knew about," Pehlman said. "Even in Cape Girardeau, it happens."

Education is also a part of counseling, explained Emily McClernon, domestic violence counselor for the Safe House. She joined the staff in August.

"Many times a woman is not sure she is being abused or does not realize the seriousness of her abuse," McClernon said.

In the past, residents of the Safe House were referred to an outside agency for counseling.

"Counseling is now provided at the Safe House for not only current residents, but also for past residents and women in the community who may or may not be with their abuser," McClernon said.

McClernon runs the peer support group and provides individual counseling and assessment.

"The support groups also provide education and information on an array of life skills topics such as budgeting, managing stress and interviewing skills," she said.

"Overall, the counseling program was established to assist women through the difficult transition of leaving their abuser, while at the same time teaching them to empower themselves to live a life free of abuse."

For additional information, call

(the Safe House at (573) 335-7745 or call the crisis hotline at (573) 651-1614 or toll free at 800-341-1830.)