Reminders from a good friend

Editor's note: The student Amber Karnes is writing about, Nathan Wibbenmeyer, died in December 2003 after a battle with cancer.

By Amber Karnes

With the end of school approaching, everyone's stress levels are at an all-time high as we prepare for finals and graduation. People's priorities can seem a little out of whack, including mine -- wait, especially mine.

I was freaking out because I could not think of anything to write about and stressing about how I was going to pull off good grades on all my finals.

Then reality hit ... HARD! It hit me so hard that the paper in which I am writing is now soaked from tears of pain.

As I was walking down the hall, thinking about how I was going to talk my way out of a tardy in Mr. Mosley's civics class, Brother David approached me and told me to follow him to his office. I anxiously awaited those key words "Do not worry, you're not in trouble." My heart began to race, even though I knew I hadn't done anything wrong.

As I approached his desk, he handed me a bright yellow, Mexican menu from a restaurant in Columbia, Mo. I was immediately confused. He said, "Amber, I have something for you. Nathan's mother brought this to me and told me to give it you." When I heard those words, I almost lost it. Every emotion I had felt the day that Nathan died instantly came flooding back.

Nathan and I sat next to each other in Spanish class. We became friends by adding an occasional accent mark or two to each other's papers as we graded them. In this class, there are several extra credit opportunities.

One of them is that we can bring in things (like menus) that are completely written in Spanish.

When Nathan was attending a graduation in Columbia, he became too weak to attend the ceremony. Instead, he and his mother ordered in some food. When Nathan saw the menu he told his mother to keep it, so he could turn it in when he returned to school.

But Nathan never made it back to school to turn it in. His mother asked me if I would turn it in and get the points because she knew that Nathan would not want the points to go to waste.

Nathan's mother asked me to do this at Nathan's visitation almost 4 months ago. At the time, I told her I would, but I had no idea how hard that was going to be. Even after Nathan's death, he is still teaching me things. Right after his death, I tried to live my life as he did. I tried to put others before myself and not to sweat the small stuff. However, here recently, I have lost all sight of that goal. I rush around, trying to get everything done and only thinking about how bad off I have it.

When I received that menu, it was like a sign, a reminder to slow down and stop being all about me. Every day when I walk past his locker, which is covered with pictures and letters of other people he touched, I am reminded of what a great person he was and how he will forever impact my life. I am going to keep this menu in a very special place in which I can constantly see it. Every time I feel overwhelmed or stressed I am going to look to it for strength. Nathan was a wonderful person who never, not even after he was gone, stopped helping people.

Amber Karnes is a student at Notre Dame Regional High School.