Politics and the fallen: Trump hasn't called all families

WASHINGTON -- President Donald Trump has pulled bereaved military families into a political fight of his own making, going so far Tuesday as to cite the death of his chief of staff's son in Afghanistan to question whether Barack Obama and other presidents did enough to honor the military dead.

He's boasted "I think I've called every family of someone who's died," though The Associated Press found relatives of two soldiers who died overseas during Trump's presidency who said they never received a call or a letter from him, as well as relatives of a third who did not get a call from him.

The White House said Trump telephoned Tuesday the families of four soldiers who were killed in Niger nearly two weeks ago, the issue that had spawned the controversy this week.

"He offered condolences on behalf of a grateful nation and assured them their family's extraordinary sacrifice to the country will never be forgotten," a White House statement said.

Contending Trump's propensity for a political fight has drifted into "sacred" territory, Democrats and some former government officials have expressed anger at his comments he, almost alone among presidents, called the families of military members killed in war. They accused him of "inane cruelty" and a "sick game."

For their part, Gold Star families that have lost members in wartime told AP of acts of intimate kindness from two presidents -- Obama and George W. Bush -- when those commanders in chief consoled them.

Trump's posture has been defensive in recent days after he was criticized for not reaching out right away to relatives of the soldiers killed in Niger. On Monday, Trump said he'd written letters that hadn't been mailed; his aides said they had been awaiting information on the soldiers before proceeding.

Then Trump stirred things further Tuesday on Fox News radio, saying, "You could ask Gen. Kelly, did he get a call from Obama?"

John Kelly, a Marine general under Obama, is Trump's chief of staff. His son, Marine 2nd Lt. Robert Kelly, was killed in Afghanistan in 2010. John Kelly was not seen at Trump's public events Tuesday.

A White House official said Obama did not call Kelly after his son's death but did not say whether the former president reached out in some other fashion. White House visitor records show Kelly attended a breakfast Obama hosted for Gold Star families six months after his son died. A person familiar with the breakfast -- speaking on condition of anonymity because the event was private -- said the Kelly family sat at Michelle Obama's table.

Obama aides said it was difficult this many years later to determine whether he had also called Kelly, or when.

Former Obama spokesman Ned Price tweeted: "Kelly, a man of honor & decency, should stop this inane cruelty. He saw up-close just how -- & how much -- Obama cared for the fallen's families."

Retired general Martin E. Dempsey, once chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, tweeted Bush, Obama and their wives "cared deeply, worked tirelessly for the serving, the fallen, and their families. Not politics. Sacred Trust."

Trump initially claimed in a news conference Monday only he among presidents made sure to call families. Obama may have done so on occasion, he said, but "other presidents did not call."

He equivocated Tuesday as the record made plain his characterization was false. "I don't know," he said of past calls. But he said his own practice was to call all families of the war dead.

But that hasn't happened:

• Army Spc. Christopher Michael Harris, 25, of Jackson Springs, North Carolina, was killed along with another soldier in a suicide attack in Afghanistan in August.

His widow, Brittany Harris, said the White House offered to set up a call with Trump but "it fell through," and no letter came from the president. The family saw Vice President Mike Pence at Dover Air Force Base, where they went to receive Michael's remains, and found Pence's words comforting.

• Army Spc. Etienne J. Murphy, 22, of Snellville in metropolitan Atlanta, died May 26 after an armored vehicle he was in rolled over in Syria. No letter or phone call came from Trump to the parents or his widow.
• Aaron Butler, a 27-year-old guardsman from Monticello, Utah, was killed Aug. 16 at a booby-trapped building in Nangarhar province, Afghanistan. His mother, Laura Butler, and family spokesman Bill Boyle say Trump has not called. Many other officials have.