PLAYERS AUDITIONING TO ACT LIKE 'FOOLS'

David Koeller read a part from the script of "Fools."

You have to be stupid to audition for the Neil Simon comedy "Fools."

That is the curse upon the Ukrainian village of Kulyenchikov, a general stupidity, so the actresses and actors trying out Saturday at Port Cape Restaurant were doing their best to sound dumb enough to get a role.

Difficult Russian names like Tolchinsky, Zubritsky and Yousekevitch helped, but this is a town where people set afire the draperies to read by.

Like most River City Players productions, "Fools" drew a mix of both seasoned and neophyte actors and actresses.

Forty-three-year-old Stan Koeller acted in his first play only a few weeks ago. The Dana Corp. engineer played the bailiff in the courtroom drama "The Night of January 16th."

"I had one line and I had trouble doing that. But it was a lot of fun," he said.

Koeller's wife, Martha, is co-directing "Fools." Their son, David, also is trying out for a part. David had one of the leads in the RCP production of "On Golden Pond," and the Koellers' daughter, Amanda, appeared in RCP's "Let Him Sleep 'Till It's Time for His Funeral."

The children's interest in community theater sparked their parents'. Until "January 16th," Stan hadn't been near a stage since grade school.

By contrast, Shannon Felker acted in her first play at 8 years old, playing the paper boy in "Our Town." She appeared in plays all through her years at Cape Central High School, often in the lead.

In September, she will begin her sophomore year at Ohio Weslyan University, where she majors in theater and has been appearing in one-act plays written and directed by students.

She plans to become a drama teacher and is co-teaching a theater class this summer for the Arts Council of Southeast Missouri.

As accustomed as she is to auditioning, Felker still gets nervous trying to create characters from a cold reading of a script.

"You have to make them up as you go," she said.

She brought childhood friend Nick Clubb to the audition. Clubb did a bit of high school acting with Felker, then joined the Marine Corps. He is a Marine Corp reservist who will enter Southeast Missouri State University in the fall intending to become a teacher.

But acting, he said, is "more fun than anything."

"... There are not a lot of jobs where you can act like a complete idiot and people say you did a good job. Certainly not the Marine Corps," he said.

Terri Tate is a payroll secretary and single mother who's reaching back to her experience in high school musicals and the Lynwood Baptist Church Easter pageant to try to snag one of only three female roles in the play.

"The competition is stiff," she said. "But it's just fun and I'm starting to broaden my horizons."

The competition for the female roles is very good, co-director Ann Swanson acknowledges. As usual, only three males tried out Saturday for the seven male parts.

The choices Swanson will make after this afternoon's final audition from 4-6 p.m. are "probably very illogical," she said. A good reading is necessary but she's also looking for a Leon Tolchinsky and a Sophia Zubritsky -- the romantic leads -- who have chemistry and look good together.

"Fools" will be presented Aug. 13, 14, 20 and 21 as a dinner theater at the River City Yacht Club.

Expect outrageous stupidity. "But I don't know that we'll be burning those drapes in the show," Swanson said. "Maybe we'll use fireworks."