OFF mid-summer fashion report: A tawdry tale of skulls, tights and little sailboats

Ok, so by now you're probably seeing a lot of mixed messages in the windows of your favorite stores in the mall. It's July, so we are stuck, fashion-wise, in a time where summer is dying down and fall is creeping up on us. Stores are planning their back-to-school, but they still want to reach for the shorts and tank top market that is still booming.

You might be confused by this mixture of seasons, and wonder, what should I wear? Well, we're just going to say now that for all intents and purposes, it is still summer. Yes, hoodies are being shipped to stores now, but it's still 1,000 degrees outside and you are crazy for buying one.

Might I start off by asking the question, "Now that the weather is hot, what's hot now?" Haha. Lame lead-ins aside, one only has to stroll to the newly re-re-christened "West Park Mall." For once, Southeast Missouri is making an attempt to stay on the cutting edge of fashion (by which I only mean one or two seasons behind).

The most controversial item available in Cape Girardeau? Please, meth was so last season. I'm talking about the latest fad available at Hot Topic and Wet Seal -- and yes, even Goodies -- skinny jeans. These pants, available in a variety of washes, have time traveled from the amazing '80s straight to your heart. I find the topic of skinny jeans a very black-and-white issue … most folks either hate them or love them. Well, I emo heart them (for those who don't know, that looks like this: <3 ). On the right body type, skinny jeans can be very flattering. It's a daring indie look, which I think will explode this fall.

Another quintessential item in your summer wardrobe is the footless tight or legging. If you don't own a pair of these yet, take the next spaceship from the cave in Mars you live in and pick some up (they're available everywhere, from Hot Topic to Wet Seal to PacSun to Famous Barr, and are only around 8-12 bucks). Footless tights are everywhere -- under skirts, shorts, capris, dresses, long shirts. It's a fun look, and it helps you pull off shorter styles. A basic black pair is a must, but you can find them in a variety of colors like turquoise and pink, and in different styles like fishnet or lace.

Speaking of dresses, they're not just for weddings and funerals anymore! Add some class to everyday by picking up a casual, jersey-knit dress. Wet Seal usually has a lot of cute ones for about $20 -- the best deal in town. Remember, add a pair of footless tights and you are ready to go!

Shoe selection is also crucial during the summer months. Try not to go flip-flop overboard and get yourself a pair of skimmers. These flat shoes are as comfortable as your flips but twice as cute -- and come in a variety of colors and prints. Hot Topic has the best selection that I have found, but it's always cool to hunt for bargains at Payless and other such discount shoe places.

If I had to pick out the biggest trends for this summer, I would have to pick skulls as number one! I have seen skulls literally everywhere, and on every item imaginable -- shirts, shoes, necklaces, hats, bras, pj pants, barrettes, blah blah. It seems the discount and knock-off stores have caught up with this trend, as I have seen the skull in Wal-mart and K-mart both, as well as finer retailers such as PacSun, JC Penneys, and of course, the store that was doing it first, Hot Topic.

It almost seems that the trend has gotten to the point to where you know some marketing genius is all, "Hey, we have to sell this ugly shirt to some kids. How can we move it? Oh, I know: PUT A SKULL ON IT! Genius." But when done creatively and in moderation, the skull may not become 2006's yin yang or peace sign.

Another trend I have seen big in places like Urban Outfitters, which has just started to hit our sleepy burg, is the nautical/rockabilly look. Shirts and jewelry festooned with anchors, sailor girls, swallows and various tattoo-type designs are starting to be rocked by the locals. A pair of black capris, a studded belt, and a cute sailor tank top will be a unique way to be casual and cool during the summer. Once again, like skulls, the look is cute with one or two pieces, but don't go …o overboard! Get it?! 'Cause it's about sailing and … forget it.

So there you have it: what to wear, now. If you take away anything from this article, may it be my last words of advice, the most important thing to remember during the summer months: If you go skimpy on the bottom, cover up on top, or vice versa. It leaves you looking sassy but not trashy. Remember this, always.