Odd briefs

Stooges parody wins Faulkner contest

JACKSON, Miss. -- Screenwriter David Sheffield won this year's Faux Faulkner contest by imagining what it would've been like if William Faulkner -- a Nobel laureate known for thickets of challenging (often parenthetical) prose -- had written for the Three Stooges. Sheffield's script "As I Lay Kvetching" has Moe, Larry and Curly renovating a home, with the eye-gouging, nose-twisting slapstick guided by plenty of Faulknerian stage directions: "At last it is Curly who picks up the plank, rough hewn and smelling of sweet gum, and -- feeling the weight and heft and fiber of it -- swings it innocently (bending to retrieve the tool, the ball-peen hammer dropped casually on Larry's toe) and feeling the awful force of the blow as it (the plank) catches Moe upside his head ... " Sheffield will perform his script at the 31st Faulkner & Yoknapatawpha conference in Oxford, Miss., held today through Thursday.

Alleged bank robber tries to return money

MILWAUKEE -- A bank robber had a change of heart and returned to the bank he had just held up to return the money. But police were already at the bank investigating the robbery Wednesday afternoon when the alleged robber returned to ask if he could give the money back. The man had entered the bank earlier that day and demanded money, implying he had a gun. He was charged for the crime.

1,000 loose chickens create highway chaos

LONDON -- A busy highway near Oxford in central England was closed in both directions Friday when around 1,000 chickens escaped from a truck that collided with four other vehicles, injuring four people. The birds' escape could be short-lived: Thousands of shooting enthusiasts, game keepers and falconers are in the area for a game fair.-- From wire reports

Airplane workers use toilets as seats

DUBLIN, Ireland -- Two Ryanair employees were fired Friday for sitting in the toilets of a packed airplane in breach of aviation regulations. The no-frills airline said the pilot of Sunday night's flight from the Spanish city of Girona to Dublin also had resigned after admitting he permitted the two off-duty cabin crew workers to sit in the aircraft's rear toilets because no seats were available. Ryanair said in a statement that the pilot had 30 years' experience while the two fired workers held the rank of "senior No. 1s." This meant, the airline said, they both were "fully aware of our seating and boarding regulations" and after refusing to resign were "dismissed for gross misconduct." The Irish Aviation Authority said it was still investigating the matter.