Near or far?

Stanford is close to home in California, more laid back and seems to offer more of the programs Aman Kumar wants to pursue. But Princeton offers an idyllic campus and would show him a different part of the world.

Acceptance letters in hand, thousands of high school students are wrestling this week with final college decisions, due Sunday. Academics, financial aid and even athletics will tip the balance for many. But many, like Kumar, also are struggling with a question they can no longer postpone: Do I want to go away to school, or stay close to friends and family?

Stanford "is the perfect profile match," says Kumar, who was born in Stanford's hospital and lives in Saratoga, Calif., just a few minutes' drive from the Palo Alto campus. "But at the same time, you wonder if it's going to be more of the same, if you're going to become complacent. People say the college where you will grow the most will serve you best."

Many students, looking forward to independence, are eager to get away. But taking the plunge can be intimidating.

"I've never been away from home," said Megan Kunz, a senior at Edina High School in suburban Minneapolis who is choosing between nearby College of Saint Benedict, and DePauw University, about 600 miles away in Indiana. She's leaning toward DePauw but worries about "not being able to just drive home on the weekend when I feel like I need a break."

For other students, like Lino Ochoa, escape is part of the appeal. A senior at The College Preparatory School in Oakland, Calif., Ochoa says he's looking to get out of his drugs-and-violence-plagued neighborhood. He wants to be a commercial pilot and hopes to attend Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University in Prescott, Ariz.

"I see moving to a place like Prescott, which is a pretty small city, as a way to kind of escape this environment," he said. "I really see it as an opportunity to better myself."

Deanna Leible, a senior at Saxony Lutheran High School in Cape Girardeau, said being far from home almost made her reconsider her choice of college. Leible plans to attend Concordia Teachers College in Seward, Neb. But her career plans and other factors that went into her decision outweighed her apprehension.

Leible wants to be a Lutheran school teacher and eventually a counselor, and she believes Concordia is the best place to get the education she needs.

Other criteria also came into play in her decision.

"I thought about the location," Leible said. "It's in a small town and I came from a small town. I don't want to be in a big city; I don't want to be lost."

Saxony senior John Volkerding said he isn't quite ready to leave Cape Girardeau, where he has lived his entire life, so he plans to enroll at Southeast Missouri State University.

"I still have time left here," he said.

In addition to wanting to remain close to family, he also wants to stay with a rock and roll band he is involved with. Some of the other band members are still in high school and will be for a year or two, and Volkerding said if he had gone to an out-of-state college, it would have meant the end of the band.

"I don't want to leave them yet," he said. "I want to stay here and still play music. I like doing that a lot."

Volkerding said he plans to major in business and take a music minor, eventually combining the two into a career in the music industry.

About one-quarter of students at four-year colleges attend school outside their home state, about the same as a decade ago, according to Department of Education figures.

College counselors say their advice on the dilemma depends on the student, but many urge their students to consider a different part of the country if they can.

"With some kids I tell them, 'It's sometimes exciting to go away for school because you can always come back home,"' said Bill Hicks, a guidance counselor at Edina High School.

Betty Deardorff, counselor at Saxony Lutheran High School, said she works with both students and parents when helping them decide on a college. Finances have to be considered, she said, and part of the financial equation includes financial aid. Counselors have found, she said, that schools farther away, especially private colleges, often offer the best financial aid packages.

The primary consideration, she said, is what the students want from life. If a student isn't ready to leave home yet, then perhaps Southeast is the best choice, or perhaps a community college.

"I talk to them about their interests and what they want to do," she said. "We look at their interests and abilities and go from there."

In an era of discount airlines and cheap cell-phone minutes, faraway schools may not feel as distant as they used to. Still, for all sorts of reasons, even students with options farther afield decide to stay nearby.

Students often are nervous about a new climate, or being too far from family and friends. And, of course, money often plays a role.

"We expect to see this large group of kids ... say, 'I want to get out of Nebraska,"' said Margaret Oakeson, a counselor at Lincoln High School there. "But once they get the hard dollar figures and realize they'll be leaving home for the first time, they're not sure they want to do it."

At Stanton College Prep, a public magnet school in Jacksonville, Fla., counselor Bob Turba said half the students want to leave the area for college, but only a quarter of those who want to can afford it -- and those who stay in state do fine. He worries students are getting a message they're missing out if they don't "see the world" in college.

"It's a myth propagated in the media and among some college counselors that you're giving up something by staying close to home," Turba said.

Indeed, staying local may be a good long-term investment. Saving money on undergraduate tuition can make graduate school more affordable, Turba noted, and students planning to work in their home area may benefit from local contacts.