MOTHERS OF TWINS TALK PARENTING; THOUGHTS SHARED IN PROGRAM HERE

One baby is a big change in parents' lifestyles.

Two babies can turn parents' lifestyles upside down but mothers of twins say the chaos is worth every merry moment.

Mothers of twins shared thoughts and tips about parenting twins during a special "Parents As Teachers" program that was conducted Friday at Jefferson School.

"This was a special interaction program," said Susan Bartlett, coordinator of the Parents as Teachers programs for Cape Girardeau public schools. "We wanted to give the mothers of twins an opportunity to exchange ideas, share problems and learn from each other," said Bartlett.

Fourteen children were present ranging in ages from 9 months to 5 years. Some were dressed alike and some were dressed in similar clothes with varying colors, but it was evident that they were used to playing together.

"They tell us that having twins is a common occurrence," said Lisa (Mrs. Jim) Cooper, mother of Ashley and Jamie Cooper, who are 3. "But you wouldn't know it; they receive a lot of attention from relatives and friends."

Statistics show that about 1 percent of births recorded in the United States are twins, including identical and fraternal. Identical twins physically resemble each other and they are always the same sex; fraternal twins may be of the same or opposite sex.

Mothers present at Friday's meeting probably will agree with author Betsy Gehman that twins may be twice the trouble but twice the fun. Gehman is author of the book, "Twins: Twice the Trouble, Twice the Fun," which can be interesting reading for parents of twins.

Gehman writes that twins, because they are unique and different, do receive a lot of attention.

"Most parents," she writes, "treat their twins exactly alike same toys, same clothes, same privileges and punishments, same room at school...."

To the other extreme, she points out, there are parents who dress their twins differently and separate them in school, regardless of the children's feelings.

Gehman suggests taking cues from the children. "When they are very young it's fun to dress them alike," she writes. "There will be a stage in their growth when they will insist on having the same clothes. But it's just a phase, and there will be a time when the twins will give off signals that they are ready to branch out into styles and colors of their own."

In many communities across the country there are "Mothers of Twins" Clubs, where mothers get together to discuss and share challenges that twins can present.

One of the club's goals is to make members and others aware that each twin is a unique individual despite their similar appearance. The clubs suggest that parents should spend some time each day with each twin separately.

Mothers at Friday's meeting agreed that twins seem to have a special relationship with each other, and that the close interaction starts at an early age.

"The twins play together well," said Lisa Zimmer, mother of David and Susan Zimmer, who are 5. "They do have their own interests. Susan likes girl things and David likes boy things. But they interact with each other."

John Zimmer, father of the twins, knows what it's like to be a twin: he has a twin brother.

"I always wanted twins, but it was still a surprise for me," said Carla (Mrs. Chris) O'Connell, mother of Rex and Ethan, 2-year olds. "You learn to do a lot of things in a hurry. It's a lot of work, but it's also a lot of fun."

Rex and Ethan like a lot of the same things, but they are different, too, said O'Connell. "One has curly hair; the other has straight hair. And one is more outgoing."

Jared and Jonathan, 1-year-old twins of Jerry and Pattie Siemers, are usually dressed alike.

"They're not identical twins," said Siemers. "They look different, so we dress them alike.

The Siemers are also parents of 3-year-old Justin.

"Justin is a big helper," said Siemers. "They all get along great."

Rick and Tammy Ostendorf also have a "big helper" with 5-year-old daughter Whitney.

"The twins Lindsey and Cortney play well together and with their sister, Whitney," said Ostendorf. "Whitney was only 22 months old when the twins were born," said Ostendorf. "But she has been a great help for us."

Evelyn (Mrs. David) Willis says she dresses her daughters alike some times but "they're different." Ashley looks like her father and Jennifer looks like her mother. They have different personalities.

Becky Shell said the twins were a real surprise to her and husband, William.

"We're fortunate that grandmother lives nearby," said Shell.

Shell and grandmother, Margaret Mayfield, both agree that it "has been a lot of work but a lot of fun."

The twins, Emma and William, are 9 months old.

Also present at Friday's session was mother-to-be Debbie Goodier, who is expecting twins in June.

"They tell us the twins will be girls," said Goodier, adding it was enlightening to be in the group and hear the stories they tell. "I'm looking forward to the twins," she said.

Ruby Lenand, great grandmother to twins Rex and Ethan O'Connell, was present at the Friday session. She is a hand at the twins game; Lenand is also grandmother to 18-year-old twins, Tim and Tom Enderle of Chaffee.

"I live close to the my great-grandsons," said Lenand. "I get to see them often, and they're my pride and joy."