More grandparents raising grandchildren

Rashland Simms raised her own four children and looked forward to free time when they were old enough to strike out on their own from her St. Louis home.

But Simms hasn't had any time to savor freedom from child-rearing. Her daughter is serving her second prison term, leaving Simms responsible for raising three teen-aged grandchildren.

"It's like starting as a parent all over again. I am older now so I can't get around as good as I used to -- but I am also wiser, and that helps," Simms, 50, said Wednesday.

She isn't alone.

Numbers released Wednesday from the 2000 Census indicated almost 44,000 grandparents are raising grandchildren in Missouri -- a number experts say is clearly rising in a world of divorce and incarceration, child abandonment and adult substance abuse.

Teresa Cooney, an associate professor of human development and family studies at the University of Missouri-Columbia, said anecdotal evidence already indicated a large increase in grandparents raising grandchildren, even over a decade ago.

Single parents factor

Factors in the rise include much higher rates of single parenthood, more people going to prison under stricter sentencing laws and grandparents stepping in to care for children when parents have problems with alcohol, drugs or other addictions, Cooney said.

The latest figures come from the 2000 census "long form," a survey, distributed to 20 million households, that asked more detailed questions than in 1990 on topics such as income, education and family relationships. Census figures released last year came from questions asked of all U.S. residents.

The latest release showed that Missouri's most populous areas had the largest numbers of grandparents raising grandchildren.

St. Louis County, for example, had 7,030 grandparents serving as primary providers for their grandchildren. The city of St. Louis had 4,671 grandparents in similar circumstances. Jackson County, including Kansas City, had 6,426 grandparents heading households with children under 18.

But every county in Missouri had grandparents providing care for third generations.

In rural Boone County, David Davidson, 60, and his wife Carolyn, 56, have legal custody of a 15-year-old grandson and a 13-year-old granddaughter whose parents are divorced. A third grandchild is also living with them.

"We are wiser now than when ours were growing up, and that's to our advantage," David Davidson, who is self-employed, said with a laugh on Wednesday. "Having these kids around can make you feel younger -- and tired, too."

Lois Fitzpatrick coordinates the gerontology studies program at the University of Missouri-Kansas City. She also chairs the Missouri Grandparents/Kinship Care Coalition, a fledgling statewide group offering support to grandparents raising grandchildren.

Fitzpatrick can offer supportive words based on personal experience. She was 55 and preparing to pursue graduate studies when her granddaughter, then 4, came to live with her.

She has been the girl's legal guardian for about a decade because her daughter, for medical reasons, was unable to fulfill parental responsibilities. Her daughter's condition is improving and she is taking more responsibility for the granddaughter, Fitzpatrick said.

Rolling with punches

"With your own children, you are concerned with wanting them to turn out perfect and it can be devastating when they have problems, even the smallest problems," Fitzpatrick said. "But when you are a grandparent, you have learned to roll with the punches a little better."

The Missouri Grandparents/Kinship Care Coalition is trying to spread word about its support groups, which are mostly in urban areas. But the Census numbers show there is a need for grandparent support statewide, Fitzpatrick said.

"These are special folks, because they are offering loving homes even after raising their own kids," she said.