Mo. abbey offers retreats for those in need of quiet

CONCEPTION, Mo. -- Remember quiet?

It's that sound of not much at all, a fall breeze over a still pond, a car on a gravel road, frogs.

Conception Abbey, which sits among the hills and farms of northwest Missouri, a few miles east of where cell phone service dies, has that good kind of quiet, the kind that holds the promise of going on and on.

The abbey, home to about 65 monks, is one of several Roman Catholic Benedictine monasteries around the world that are open to groups and individuals looking for a little time to reflect, pray, escape or just stare off into space.

Retreat options abound across the U.S. and beyond. There are retreats for Quakers and wayward Catholics, body cleansing retreats and marriage retreats. Retreats are held in tepees and four-star lodges. Many are religious. Some are not.

Retreat packages vary, but the point is usually similar. Retreats are meant to be different from a vacation, which these days can be more exhausting than daily life. At a retreat, the idea is to do a little personal work, even if that means working at just being still and enjoying the quiet.

While Conception Abbey also provides guided group retreats, individual stays are simpler and don't require a lot of planning and organizing. Just a phone call or two, and if rooms are available, a traveler is welcome.

The Benedictine monks have a tradition of hospitality and welcoming people, says the Rev. Patrick Caveglia, director of the abbey's guest center. While the tradition calls for hosting "those from the household of faith first," strangers, seekers, all manner of people aiming to unplug are welcome. And Caveglia has seen them all.

"There are a lot of people out there looking for some peace and quiet," Caveglia said. "There are a lot of baby boomers like me, thinking, 'I'm probably mortal, and I've taken early retirement, or early redundancy, and maybe I ought to think about what I ought to do with the rest of my life.'"

Some visitors show up at the abbey for a night or two, alone, in a group or with a spouse. Some want to talk to a monk. Others want to be left alone to roam the grassy path around little Lake Placid or walk the wooded trail that includes the stations of the cross.

Jennifer Phelps started coming to the monastery five years ago. Now she travels the 140 miles from her home in Carlisle, Iowa, once a month to rest and pray.

"Frequently, napping is the first thing I do at the monastery," said Phelps, 60. "I usually don't go with an agenda. ... I like to go where it is soothing, calm and tranquil.

"Not everyone I know thinks it's necessarily a good idea that I go so often. ... But when my work schedule gets heavy, and I miss a month or two, I can really tell."

Scott Killgore, pastor at the Wyatt Park Christian Church in St. Joseph, Mo., has been coming to the abbey several times a year since 1999.

"The quiet is a huge part," said Killgore, 53. "My cell phone service is not very good up there. That's a gift from a God."

Killgore is also drawn to the prayers and services, even though he is a pastor in another denomination.

"As soon as I hit the ground up there, I know I'm on holy space, and I just feel my stress level and everything go down," he said. "As a pastor I get so busy doing church stuff, sometimes, as ironic as it may sound, I have to get away from church to have some me and God time."