Methamphetamine maker laments decision that changed his life

ST. CLAIR, Mo. -- The world went dark for Michael Murphy Feb. 1, a day he will likely relive with horror for the rest of his life.

It started out like just any other day of his life -- partying, getting high and making a couple of bucks by cooking meth. But the day ended with Murphy's life hanging by a thread after a tank of anhydrous ammonia blew up in his face, leaving him blind in both eyes, deaf in one ear and with chemical burns.

Words, sobs and tears intermingled as the 23-year-old St. Clair man spoke. His head was lowered and he wore a baseball cap pulled down, covering much of his face.

"I'll never see my daughter or my five nieces or my parents again," he said through barely muffled sobs. "I can't get something to eat or drink without asking somebody. This is hard to deal with."

Murphy did relatively well in school. He said things began taking a turn for the worse when he didn't make the baseball team his sophomore year at St. Clair High School, then didn't make the high school band.

He started hanging around with the wrong crowd, partying and eventually trying drugs. He quit school his junior year.

After two attemps at treating his addiction in the past year, he returned to St. Clair, near Washington in eastern Missouri.

Then came the events of Feb. 1.

"I heard the BOOM and remember waking up on the floor," Murphy said. "I couldn't breathe ... or yell ... or anything. I thought I was going to die, right then. Someone pulled me out, but I couldn't hear anything."

Murphy has had three surgeries on his eyes. His family said there is a slight chance he could recover some sight in one eye. He will face more surgeries.

"If I could just see my little daughter," he sobbed. "If I could even get part of my vision in one eye I would be so happy."