MARRIED TO THE COACH

Yvonne Hall was stepping into new territory in the fall of 1966. Her new husband, Jim, had already recorded 36 victories in two seasons as head basketball coach at his alma mater, Dexter High School.

There is no Coach's Spouse Theory 101 class offered to prepare a young woman (or man) for life as a coach's spouse.

"I felt I was thrown into the position," Yvonne said. "He was already coaching. I didn't know what to expect."

What she grew to expect over the years was many, many nights at strange gymnasiums and many evenings sitting at home during practices or scouting assignments.

"If you're married to a true, dedicated coach, his coaching always comes first ahead of you, ahead of family occasions and holidays," she reflected. "Your whole life revolves around games, practices and scouting. I don't think it has anything to do with their feelings toward you. It's just part of it. It's not always easy to take."

"You have to be very patient and very understanding," echoed Jamie Neff, who is already catching onto the sometimes overwhelming responsibilities of being married to a head coach.

Her husband, Chris Neff, took over as head boys basketball coach at Notre Dame High School this year, following a stint as assistant. Jamie, meanwhile, served a year as assistant girls coach and is a former Otahkian basketball player.

"I guess being a coach myself and playing basketball helps me to understand how time consuming coaching is," she said. "We don't have any children yet, so I'm still able to do a lot with him. I attend practices every once in a while and help out when I can. I go with him to scout when I can; we still get to do a lot together."

Jim Hall has posted a 450-290 record during his lengthy career. Of the 699 varsity games he has coached since their marriage, Yvonne has been in the stands at least 99 percent of the time.

"This is my 27th varsity team since being married. In all that time, she's missed maybe five to 10 games," Jim said. "She's basically an ideal coach's wife. She's been totally supportive of me in everything I've done."

So far, Chris Neff has coached just 23 games as a head coach (winning 14), leaving Jamie with many more nights on hard gymnasium bleachers before coming close to matching Yvonne Hall's mark.

"This year I've enjoyed being able to attend all the games and watch," she said. "In the past I haven't really been able to see the games. Being able to go to the games and give my support has been nice."

Still, the coaching bug may have left its mark.

"I've thought about it," Jamie said, referring to the possibility of coaching again. "I really miss it a lot this year. Probably, if a good opportunity came in front of me, I'd really consider it very seriously."

After winning 223 games in 12 seasons at Dexter, Jim Hall left coaching in 1976, to become assistant principal there. He was still at basketball games during his five seasons out of coaching. He returned to the coaches' box in 1981 and stayed at Dexter until 1996, retiring with a 415-275 record, four regional championships and several Stoddard County Activities Association championships.

Yvonne's career as a coaching spouse seemed to be over. The lure of a part-time coaching-only position at Advance High School, however, proved too tempting for Jim to pass up.

He helped turn the once-dominant Advance program around last season, with a 16-12 record. This year the Hornets are buzzing to a 20-3 record, with dreams of a return to the state Final Four in Columbia beginning to dance in Advance fans' head.

For Yvonne, it was back to the old familiar schedule, in a new setting.

"For a couple of years I got to lead a normal life like other people," she said with a wry grin. "I guess two out of 34 years isn't bad."

Neither is being part of a winning, enthusiastic program.

"Seeing the success he's had," was Yvonne's answer to her favorite aspect of her role, "seeing him take a team with average or below average talent and come out with a winning season."

Winning is something he may do more often this season than any other. His previous high mark is 24 victories in the 1965-66 season. Yvonne calls the Advance experience "just wonderful."

"People up here at Advance have been just absolutely wonderful to us," she said. "We have a great group of parents and fans. They're so supportive of Jim and have been so gracious to us."

The Neffs have likewise felt at home at Notre Dame.

"Brother David (Migliorino), the principal, and Chris Janet, the athletic director, have both been very supportive of Chris," Jamie said. "It's always nice to know those people are behind you and believe in what you're trying to do."

Getting off to a winning start has been a plus this season.

"When the team plays bad he's not always in the best mood," Jamie said. "We talk about it a lot. I think sometimes people forget sometimes that coaches are human. They make mistakes. They learn through their mistakes, just like everyone else does. It can be kind of frustrating."

Coaches and their families often becomes part of a tight-knit group of partisans especially when the team is winning.

"The parents are so supportive of the kids and the program," Yvonne said of the Advance patrons. "They've really made us feel like part of the basketball family here."

Of course the coaching spouse is always a part of that family to an extent. Yvonne never felt called to become a second mother to Jim's players, however.

"I don't feel like it's part of my role to help develop relationships with them," she said. "That's Jim's role. I definitely feel like I do know each one of them, from what he says about them at home even though I don't really know them."

It has been a bit different for Jamie Neff, who has been around the Notre Dame campus enough to get to know the players off the court.

"We've been around most of the seniors the last few years," she said. "I've seen these kids as freshmen. I've seen them become better ballplayers and mature.

"It almost seems like they're our kids most of the time," she said. "Even once a game's over, Chris comes home and we talk about them and what each kid has to do to get better and what each has to do to help the team."

When a team at least plays up to expectations and players achieve their potential, the coaching family is a happy one.

"It's such a good feeling that he brings home with him because he's so happy," Yvonne said. Of course she knows the other side of the moon, too. The Halls struggled through 3-18 and 2-19 seasons in the early 1980s.

"We've really enjoyed it," Jamie said. "This is what Chris has always wanted to do; he's always wanted to be head coach and get his own program. It's been fun to see him get a chance to do that."

Coaches have their own styles. Most also mellow with age. Jim Hall's animated theatrics in the coaching box actually drew fans to Dexter games in the 1960s. While a wayward official will still feel his wrath, his demeanor has calmed over the years. Likewise, Yvonne is relatively stoic in the stands.

The Neffs are still buoyant and excitable. While Chris resembles a young Jim Hall as he directs the flow of a game, Jamie also gets into the spirit of things.

"I get pretty excited," she admitted. "I also get real nervous. I think I'd rather be playing than have to sit there and watch."

When all is said and done, though, support and understanding are the keys.

"You have to be understanding," Jamie said. "Coaching is very time-consuming. If you're not willing to be understanding and let him do those things, it might be pretty frustrating. It's a year-round commitment, not just basketball season. If you're going to be good, you have to do it year-round."

"She knows when to stay quiet at home and when to talk about a situation. She can tell when I want to talk about it and when I don't," Jim said.

"The biggest compliment I can give her is being totally supportive of anything I've wanted to do."

"I just always felt my role was to be there to support him," Yvonne said. "If he wants to talk, I'm there to talk to; if he doesn't, I let him have his time."

There is also the unspoken realization that there will be another day ... and another game ... and many more practices.