LOCAL PROGRAMS OFFERED TO HELP SAVE MARRIAGES0

Though there has been little change to the words couples speak when reciting marriage vows in America, there has been a vast change in the ideal of a long-lasting marriage.

People just aren't keeping their promises anymore and it's hard to stay married in a culture that doesn't force people to keep their promises, said the Rev. Art Hunt, pastor of Christ Evangelical Presbyterian Church.

Statistics show that nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. Nationally, there were about 4.2 divorces for every thousand people in 1998, and the numbers increase in the Bible Belt."It's not 'til death do you part but 'til you get enough money to pay a lawyer," Hunt said. His congregation offers a divorce recovery seminar each year for people who are separated or have divorced. Besides offering premarital counseling to engaged couples, "we try to help if they've messed up," Hunt said.

No other region of the United States has a higher divorce rate than the Bible Belt an area dominated by fundamentalist Protestant denominations that proclaim the sanctity of marriage but generally do not want to estrange churchgoers who do divorce. Tennessee, Arkansas, Alabama and Oklahoma rank below Nevada as the states with the most divorces. Missouri ranked 17th and Illinois was 36th on the list.

Ministers at churches around the nation have been working to curb the divorce rate by offering premarital counseling and marriage preparation and encouragement to couples through a community marriage plan. More than 110 cities have joined the program in the United States.

Marriage Savers is built on the premise that churches have neglected married couples for too long. Between 1960 and 1980, divorce tripled in the United States, according to the group's Web site at www.marriagesavers.com. So churches must offer some help to couples if they want marriages to last. Marriage Savers began in Cape Girur months of marriage preparation, offers networking couples to serve as marriage mentors and encourages attendance at marriage enrichment seminars.

Marriage is a commitment God takes seriously, Hunt said. Pastors know that God frowns on divorce, but the reality is that many churches have divorced people as members. "We know what the Bible says but when it comes to our own congregation, that gets difficult," he said. "We have to hold up the standards of the Scripture and hold out our hand to help people."Churches often are faced with the difficulty of dispelling cultural myths about married life based largely on media perceptions. Television portrays few happily married couples. Young couples are getting married based on those ideals of marriage, Hunt said. Researchers have suggested there is a correlation between the number of divorces in the Bible Belt and religion. Experts cite low household incomes and a tendency for couples to marry at younger ages. David Popenoe, co-director of National Marriage Project at Rutgers University, notes that some of the lowest divorce rates are in the northeast states with relatively high household incomes and large numbers of Roman Catholics who don't recognize divorce.

Fundamentalist churchgoers are often exposed to "fairytale conceptions of marriage," said the Rev. Robin Meyers, a Congregational minister in Oklahoma City. "They don't have the mental dexterity to make the adjustments to a less-than-perfect marriage."Hunt said he emphasizes human imperfections when counseling engaged couples. "There are no perfect marriages because there are no perfect people," he said. "They aren't marrying Mr. or Miss Perfecto." As human beings it's going to be hard for them to keep their vows, he said, and "that's why a relationship with Jesus is so crucial."The Associated Press contributed information to this story.