Let's learn to be offended again

I was strolling along a cobblestone road a fortnight ago and to my surprise, I heard a tiny, innocent child say to his beloved mother, "Look yonder, Ma! There goes a Latin-American male ... I mean Spanish-influenced male ... I mean earthly inhabitant ... Oh, crap!" The confused child was carried away in a storm of tears, all because of political correctness.

Put simply, political correctness is stupid. It's like having sporadic brain function that seldom achieves a mediocre thought. I wholeheartedly understand the concept of retaining our personal identities by classifying ourselves with people who are ethnically and racially like us. All inhabitants of this heavenly body known as Earth are individuals, which -- ironically and sadly -- makes us the same.

Following this logic, political correctness (PC) is obsolete. However, PC is far from gone. PC has caused me to lose my identity; quite frankly I don't know who I am anymore. The first symptom I experienced due to PC was the insurmountable task of deciding whether I was Hispanic-non-Black or Hispanic-non-White on my college application. I was tempted to write Hispanic-non-Tan.

The origins of PC stem from the fight to eliminate ignorance and racial slurs. At first, it was a great idea. People joyously declared "I'm Persian," or "I'm Indochinese," to clear up misgivings of their origin and, no doubt, to promote their ancestral heritage. In America, PC was used to combat racial aversions; to eliminate derogatory terms such as those that rhyme with stop, think, lick and tigger. Then thanks to the wonders of technology and immigration, the world became smaller and the factions between people became bigger. Soon some Canadians were no longer Canadians, but French-Canadians.

PC quickly assimilated into society. It has rapidly transformed into one of the most prevailing diseases of the modern age, annihilating self-concept of identities along its destructive course. PC is reaching epidemic proportions. People now are afraid to speak, fearing they might offend someone. It must be stopped!

My proposal is to learn to be offended once again. Learn to fight ignorance at its doorstep. Do not hide behind a 10-word adjective describing the real you. If you are stupid, and people call you stupid, embrace your stupidity. Do not change stupid for mentally incapacitated. A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet. If you are fat, don't claim you are horizontally challenged. You should be proud of your fatness, regardless of what people say. Enough is enough!

Certainly if the intention of calling someone a name is hurtful, then by all means slap the perpetrator of this injustice until the cows come home. But if it is made without knowledge, be the better citizen and teach; inform them of their fallacies in a polite manner and move on. No need to write your local chapter of the NAACP.

Perhaps malleable children should be taught to bear insult at an early age by their caring adults in a loving environment. The children will toughen up almost instantaneously and not be overly sensitive when older. Submit them to this process for 13 years or so, for one hour a day, and of course reward them when their humiliation is done. This way, we as society will eliminate the hyphens between words that describe who we are, or likely are not. There would be no more Hispanic-Americans, just Americans.

The obliteration of adjectives and adverbs in the dictionary might also be part of the solution. In that aspect, classifications will decrease dramatically! One can be either/or; for example, one can either a human or a house. Limited choices mean limited problems.

Equality will only be reached when PC dies, for the only way to be equal is to be nondifferential. America, which stands for equality, was built on offensive behavior. Were the Americans -- excuse me, Latin-Americans -- not offended when we took over Mexico, also known as Texas? Were the Ind ... Native Americans not offended when the Pilgrims invaded their territory? I say yes! They were aghast at our offensive behavior and now look what a magnificent country we have. And keep in mind that there was no PC back then.

Oppressing PC would allow for clarity instead of confusion. If I was born in America, am I not a native American? Getting rid of PC would allow the world to deal with the hard-core issues of reality without having to take account of everyone's opinions and feelings on the subject. PC is dangerous to our existence.

Political correctness in itself is an oxymoron. When have politicians taken correct measures to account for every need in their community? Rarely.

It is acceptable to stand up for who you are, but please do not overdo it. And if you must overdo it, do not expect us Hispanic-Americans to care. We are too busy trying to inform the world that we will no longer be Hispanic-Americans but Latino-oriented, Spanish-influencde North Americans.

Edgar Palacios is a senior at Central High School in Cape Girardeau.