LAWN CHAIR WARRIORS USHER IN E. PERRY FAIR

ALTENBURG, Mo. -- Mary Koenig always goes to the East Perry Community Fair Parade but didn't expect to be part of it this year -- unceremoniously pulled into the middle of the street and serenaded by eight lawn chair-toting men in green shorts and combat boots.

As Koenig, who is from Farrar, Mo., sat and watched the parade roll by on Friday, the Kohlfeld Distributing Precision Lawn Chair Warriors approached.

The Warriors, who drew from the movie "Stripes" when choreographing their lawn chair routine, were dressed in military-influenced tan caps and T-shirts. At their side were their weapons of choice -- lawn chairs.

Drill sergeant Mitch Miller of Cape Girardeau halted the group in front of Koenig's prime viewing spot and escorted her into the street.

"Gentlemen, do you think this is a damn fine-looking woman?" Miller barked at his men.

"Yes, sir!" the men shouted back.

They broke into a brief rendition of "Do Wah Diddy Diddy" for Koenig, who erupted in laughter with the rest of the crowd and then ran back to her own lawn chair as the men finished their song and proceeded along the route.

The Warriors, who started practicing three months ago, were some of the louder participants the mile-long parade, which kicked off the annual fair. Thousands descend on tiny Altenburg for the event, perhaps most famous for its jumping mule contest and fish sandwiches.

Miller said team members may chant about beer but don't drink it before or during their shows, although they are allowed to have a couple of beers right after.

"This whole thing was borne out of a habit of having a good time and showing people you can drink in moderation and have a good time," he said.

The team practices at a Jaycee hall or at a Kohlfeld warehouse, and Miller said they plan to send a videotape of their show to the Coors company for a possible commercial. The teams also hopes to perform in upcoming Christmas parades.

After the parade, hundreds of people moved into the fairgrounds for the festival's opening ceremony, a kid's pedal tractor pull and the delicious concession offerings with which the festival is often associated.

Two of the more popular sellers Friday were the whiting fish sandwich and the grilled cheese sandwich made with provolone, muenster and mozzarella.

Gary Scholl, who is in charge of the fair concessions, said he expects to sell about 10,000 fish sandwiches and 5,000 grilled cheese sandwiches this weekend.

"People love the grilled cheese," Scholl said. "It's just the way they're made. The ladies who make them use lots of butter and margarine and grill them with pizza cheese."

Other food offerings include rib eye sandwiches, shish-kabobs, pork burgers, bratwurst, barbecue sandwiches, funnel cakes, blooming onions, cotton candy and ice cream.

Scholl said people come from all over to attend the festival, which has become a sort of homecoming for former residents. Organizers expect an attendance of 30,000 this weekend.

"People who really have no roots here come with other people who do have roots here," Scholl said. "People talk about it and how much fun they had. That's what brings people here. They say, 'We had a great time. We'll be back next year.'"