LAUGH, IT'S GOOD FOR YOU, PSYCHOLOGIST TELLS GATHERING

Laughing is good for you.

It can reduce stress, lower blood pressure, exercise muscles, enhance the immune system, says Marilyn Grey.

Grey was keynote speaker at the fifth annual Community Caring Conference Friday at the Show Me Center. About 170 attended.

In order to reap the benefits, Grey said, people must laugh heartily 15 to 20 times a day.

On average, people laugh just twice a day, she said.

Grey, a former school psychologist, university professor and now lecturer, said people today experience more stress than ever before because of the constant changes taking place.

"The minute I learn something it's outdated," she said. "Every 10 days a major change occurs somewhere in the world that affects all of us."

On top of that, she said, "We like to criticize those who don't like change. Change is really fun -- HA!."

"When all these changes occur we become less adept at what we do for a while. And this leaves us in this constant state of stress."

For years, Grey spoke on stress reduction and stress management.

"I went in and talked about diet, exercise and meditation," she said. Year after year, groups invited her back. "I wondered why they kept asking for the same topic. Then I realized they were not doing it. And I didn't blame them. It's really, really boring."

Grey said she began looking for other stress reduction methods that people might be willing to do. She discovered the benefits of laughter.

"You think better, are more alert and more productive when you laugh," she said.

But adults have learned not to laugh. Children, on the other hand, laugh much more often.

"Adults believe the myth that in order to laugh, something has to be funny," Grey said.

When infants are mildly startled, their natural response is to laugh. "As adults we have taught ourselves a new response -- anger. Scare me and I'll get angry.

"There are places not to laugh," she said. "What's the first place you learn not to laugh? Church. But that's changing. Church is getting happy."

Laughter has also been discouraged at work. "If you laugh at work you must not be getting work done," Grey said. "But laughing actually increases productivity."

Another myth many people subscribe to, Grey said, is that circumstances determine the quality of life.

"What determines the quality of life is the story we tell about what's happening," Grey said.

Studies say people perceive just 5 to 15 percent of what actually happens in a given circumstance. "All the rest of the stuff we either miss or close out," she said.

But when recalling the event, an individual fills in the gaps of the story. "We get to tell the story. Let's make it a good one."

For example, she said, if a person steps off a curb and barely escapes being run over by a truck, the story could be one of a crazed driver who shouldn't be allowed on the road.

Or, Grey says, it could be a story of how amazingly fast the person jumped backward. "I bet I could win if there was an Olympic event for jumping backward onto the sidewalk. I wonder if the fire department gives awards for saving your own life."

"Bad stuff happens and it's appropriate to be upset for a time, but then you must move past it. Tell stories of strength and resilience."