INTERACTING WITH THEIR PEERS HELPS SPECIAL-NEEDS CHILDREN THRIVE

Ashley Brotherton is a lively 6-year-old who loves going to preschool with her friends, is in her second year of playing soccer and takes piano lessons. She enjoys sleepovers with her friends and is looking forward to kindergarten.

Oh, and she also has Down's syndrome.

"Ashley has a disability, but first and foremost she is a 6-year-old," said her mother, Cindy Brotherton of Jackson, in explaining the family's commitment to find social activities where Ashley can interact with a variety of children.

Child development experts say it's important for all children to have social interaction with their peers. And children with special needs are no different.

"Children benefit from being with their peers," said Terry S. Regenold, case manager with First Steps, an early intervention program for infants and toddlers with special needs.

Through First Steps and other programs, parents can usually get the therapy and developmental services their children need. But supplying social interaction is left to the families, and that interaction isn't always easy to find.

Many times therapy services are provided in the home, Regenold said. This has the advantage of convenience for the family from not having to transport the child around town for different services. It also allows the mother to better observe the therapist, learning what she can do with the child day-to-day to enhance the therapy.

The disadvantage is the isolation that can come when the child and parent don't get out of the house much, Regenold said.

"We encourage families to look at what's offered in the community, activities that are normally out there for kids," Regenold said.

Denise Barnett's 16-month-old daughter Hannah, has hydrocephalus or fluid on the brain. Through First Steps, Barnett has arranged for Hannah to get her physical and occupational therapy and special instruction in the Barnetts' home.

That's convenient, especially since the Barnetts have just one car that Denise's husband, Doug, drives to work. But it does mean Denise and Hannah don't get out much.

Fortunately, the Barnetts have a large, extended family with lots of kids for Hannah to interact with.

"From day one, we encourage families to include the special needs child in typical family activities," Regenold said. This could be going to church, taking them on shopping trips, taking them to McDonald's with other children.

Brotherton said they have tried to include their daughter in whatever the family does, going shopping, to the pool, on other excursions.

"We never said we wouldn't take her because people would stare," Brotherton said. And for the most part, people don't stare.

"We set the tone. People look to us to see how we act and then follow our lead," Brotherton said.

Brotherton said she and her husband, Jerry, made a commitment early on that no matter how difficult a situation might be, they would act like it was easy, Brotherton said. "Whatever we do, everyone else will pick up on our reaction."

In other words, if parents focus on a child's disabilities, so will everyone else.

"It depends on if you put the disability first or the child first," Brotherton said. "That's what people will pick up on."

Finding ways to get special-needs children socializing with other children should start when they are young, Regenold said.

At some point, these children will have to go to school, Regenold said, who noted that most programs are working toward getting the child into the classroom and integrated to the maximum extent he or she can be.

"It makes sense for the child to have the opportunity for interacting with the other types of children that will be in those classrooms," Regenold said. "They are not always going to be at home or always segregated."

The Brothertons placed Ashley in a preschool setting where she is the only special-needs child rather than send her to the Jackson school system's early childhood special education program, where the special-needs children spend much of their time with other special-needs children.

"At this age, they learn so much from their peers," said Brotherton, who noted that Ashley's speech, physical and cognitive skills have improved since entering the preschool last year.

And the other children have learned from Ashley, Brotherton believes.

"They have learned compassion, sharing, that it's all right not to always be first, to give and take," Brotherton said.

That doesn't mean finding a day care that will take a special-needs child is simple.

Brotherton said she called preschool after preschool and found reluctance in accepting Ashley. But Brotherton kept looking and found Small World Pre-School in Jackson, which was very open to the idea.

"You have to keep looking until you find the right niche," Brotherton said.

Regenold said special needs children often have behavior problems, which can make it difficult to find child care or preschool placement. Plus many families with a special needs child can't afford day care. But if parents take the initiative, they can find programs to help.

Parents usually have to take the lead to be an advocate for their children, said Ruth Ward, a social worker at Pediatric Spot who coordinates the Support Group for Families of Children with Disabilities.

In the nine years of the group's existence, participating parents have initiated several programs they felt their children could benefit from.

For example, parents worked together to offer a karate class for special-needs children that is modified to help these children who may be unsteady on their feet or need help in doing activities, Ward said.

The support group also allows parents to share tips and experiences and introduces families to others with special needs, Ward said.

There are also services open to all families, including but not limited to those with special needs, that can provide interaction with a variety of children.

EduCare offers group activities twice a month at the Cape Girardeau Public Library. Open to everyone, the groups show parents activities they can do with their children and often give children a chance to interact with each other, said Janice Jones, director for EduCare. While no special-needs children have come the last few month, they have participated in the past, she said.

Parents as Teachers, which is set up in every school district to serve all families, often has parent nights at which parents can get together to set up play groups. Carolyn Beasley, with the Jackson Parents as Teachers program, said parents of special-needs programs might find play groups through that program.

The community is more open to special-needs children than you might think, Brotherton has found.

Brotherton said she almost pulled her daughter out of soccer because she was concerned Ashley, the only special-needs child on the team, wasn't keeping up with her teammates.

But her coach, Mary Lincoln, and other parents on the team have been so supportive that Brotherton changed her mind.

And the Brothertons appreciate that support. Brotherton said she and her husband try to send thank-you notes or other tokens of appreciation to those who make their daughter feel welcome.

Ashley will enter kindergarten next fall, and Brotherton hopes her daughter will feel as welcome there as she has been made to feel at Small World.

Ashley has learning so much at the preschool that Brotherton feels confident Ashley will do fine when she goes into a kindergarten classroom where she could be the only special-needs child.

"Since Ashley has been in the class with typical kids, she has risen to the occasion," Brotherton said. "When you expect a lot, you will get a lot."

RESOURCES FOR PARENTS

First Steps is an early intervention program for special needs children birth through age 2. It is a cooperative effort of the Missouri Elementary and Secondary Education, Health, Mental Health and Social Services departments, parents and public and private service providers. Call (800) 873-6623 for more information.

School districts provide services for special needs children ages 3-21. For information on criteria and programs, contact your local school district.

The Support Group for Families of Children with Disabilities allows parents to share tips and experiences and introduces families to others with special needs. For information, call Ruth Ward at 339-1188.

EduCare is a school readiness program open to all families. It offers a range of services including home visits and activities. For information, call 651-9171.

Parents as Teachers is an early childhood education program open to all families. It offers a range of services and programs. Each school district in Missouri operates a Parents as Teachers program. For information, call your local school district.