ILL MAN TELLS HOW TO KEEP LIVING AND `HAVE A HEART'

Bill Nehmer has died three times, and lived to tell about it.

In fact, Nehmer, 72, travels all over the world to share his wisecracks and insights on living, and dying, with humor.

Nehmer, a practicing lawyer and professional speaker, was in Cape Girardeau Friday to talk about his book, "Have A Heart: The Lighter Brighter Side of Recovery," at St. Francis Medical Center.

His advice to people with serious illness: "Look in the mirror and smile. You can't change it. If you'd like to have another disease, you have to order it. I don't know where you get them. They're kind of hard to come by."

Nehmer, who lives in West Bend, Wis., died the first time on April 18, 1984, on his way to a conference with a group of physicians he represented at the time.

He had a massive heart attack, and his heart stopped. The two doctors he was with performed CPR until the paramedics arrived, and he was taken to the hospital where he received emergency angioplasty.

Nehmer has no idea how long his heart stopped. He came to in the hospital.

"I was there for two or three days before I even knew what was going on," he said. "I had no idea anything was wrong."

Nehmer said he didn't have any chest pains when he had the attack. He just slumped over.

He died two more times in December 1985: once while exercising at a YMCA on Dec. 19, and the second time on Dec. 26, during a testing procedure.

"I've got six more times to go, if I'm a cat," he says.

He started writing his book in 1984, while he was in the hospital recovering from the angioplasty surgery.

"I didn't have anything to do, and I wasn't sick, or I might have been sick, but I wasn't hurting. That drives you nuts," he said.

His wife, Barbara, faxed the pages to relatives to keep them abreast of the news.

"I had a great time in the hospital," said Nehmer, who helped the cleaning woman keep his room tidy, and advised the doctors and nurses on legal issues.

"I think I started three divorces while I was in the hospital, and I was doing wills for the doctors. Everybody kept referring to it as my branch office. It was a heckuva big building for one little lawyer," he said.

He met, and then traveled to conferences and speaking engagements with Dr. Michel Mirowski, who invented the automatic implantable defibrillator that keeps his heart beating.

Mirowski once asked him for a copy of his book.

"It's $9.95," Nehmer replied, and when Mirowski told him he wanted an autographed copy, Nehmer said: "That'll be an extra dollar. I paid for the defibrillator. You pay for the book."

Mirowski, who fled Poland to avoid the Nazis, never paid for the book.

Nehmer is on medication for his heart condition and has since been diagnosed with diabetes.

He told his doctor that he needed a new disease. His heart trouble hadn't killed him.

His doctor replied: "Now you've got a new one. You can work on that."

The book and the speaking tours are geared toward "trying to help people think differently about their situations,and that they do have some control over what's going on," Nehmer said. "If you want to be miserable, be miserable. That's easy. But there are other things you can do."

Humor is important in coping with illness, he said. "It's the only prescription that comes without bad side effects."

Nehmer admits he is awed by what has happened to him, from the cardiac episodes to doctors' abilities to bring him back to life and back on his feet.

"Just to know that there was someone living in Warsaw in 1939, or whenever, that's responsible for my continuing to live, that's fantastic," he said.

The whole thing, he says, "is beyond my comprehension."

"I think the most amazing question that comes up at the end of the speech is somebody will ask, `Do you believe in God?' My stock answer is, I didn't know there was a second choice. All those things could not happen without some intervention," Nehmer said.