GRANDPARENTS' DAY ADDS MISSING LINK TO FAMILY PARENTING

Children typically choose Mother's Day and Father's Day to honor their honor parents, but a growing population is finding the first Sunday in September to honor their grandparents.

Grandparents' Day is becoming a highly celebrated event as more grandparents assume custody of their grandchildren. More than 831,000 grandparents older than 50 head households that include over 1.02 million children.

Dave and Mary Terry of Cape Girardeau head up one such household. The 50-something grandparents have been the legal guardians of granddaughters Mia, 16, and Garmeisha, 11, since their daughter Theresa's death in 1988. Between raising their own children and now their grandchildren, they haven't had much time alone over the years, and they said child rearing has definitely changed.

"Dave and I've been married 37 years and we've only had three months that we didn't have somebody to take care of," Mary Terry said with a laugh. "It's totally different now from when I was raising my kids. It's harder."

The Terrys said they're older and slower than they used to be, so their views on everything from discipline to spending habits to quality time have had to be adapted. Dave Terry thinks the biggest difference is how much respect for authority seems to have dwindled as talking to kids has replaced physical discipline. Mary Terry agreed, saying she's much more overprotective now because of the danger and lack of respect in the world.

"All you can do now is talk the best you know how to keep them from getting into trouble," she said. "With the attitudes, timing and things that's going on in the world today, I'm working my butt off trying to keep them from getting involved in the stuff that's going on."

Both grandparents said they had problems adjusting their schedules to make time for Mia and Garmeisha at first. Now, although they don't travel or socialize as they once did, they have learned to make dates with the girls so they know what's going on in their lives.

"I have a good time with my grandparents," said Garmeisha. "I like to lie in the bed and watch TV with my grandma, and my grandpa takes me fishing and to the store."

Although they spend time together, they make sure their grandchildren have plenty of time to visit their friends. It's important for the girls to interact with other children for a number of reasons, they said. They can only burn off energy and learn how to "be kids" around other kids.

The grandparents said they have luckily not had any major health problems, although they have noticed that their stress levels aren't what they used to be. The kids keep them active and healthy, Mary Terry said, and help them to "keep up with the times."

"I don't think about age until somebody else mentions it," she said. "They keep us young."