FAMILY FINDS `ORDER' IN ORGANS DONATION

Sam Stephens was married, had three children and was employed by a good company in a St. Louis suburb. But his life came to an end early March 19 when he was shot in the back of the head while driving his company truck in south St. Louis.

St. Louis police believe Stephens, a 27-year-old Cape Girardeau native, was killed in an attempted robbery or carjacking at 1:10 a.m.

Stephens' parents, Mike and Martha Stephens of Cape Girardeau, were awakened at 4 a.m. with the news.

"They told us to get up there right away," Martha Stevens said, recalling the phone call from St. Louis University Hospital. "Right when we got there, they told us there was nothing they could do. It was over."

Martha Stephens said moments after arriving at the hospital and receiving the tragic news a doctor and chaplain mentioned organ donation to the family. "At first I didn't want to think about anyone else," she said. "This was happening to me and my family. I didn't want to think about anyone else's family but my own."

She said hospital staff were very respectful about the initial request.

"They were very nice," Martha Stephens said, "but they made sure we knew that his body was shutting down and this option -- to give the organs -- wasn't going to last too long. But if we were going to do it, there were some things they had to do right away."

Martha Stephens said a niece persuaded them to donate their eldest son's organs.

After their decision, Sam Stephens' family was able to gather around his hospital bed, offer a prayer and say goodbye. "It's an experience I wouldn't trade for the world," Martha Stephens said.

And in death, Sam Stephens gave four strangers life:

One kidney was transplanted into a 31-year-old college student; the other was matched with a 44-year-old automotive sales representative from Michigan.

The liver was given to a 51-year-old mother of three.

And the heart and lungs were transplanted successfully into a 23-year-old Texas man who got married in the hospital less than a month after Sam Stephens was shot to death.

"That's how we found out," said Martha Stephens, holding the newspaper article about the hospital nuptials.

The article detailed the heart-lung transplant, including the time of the operation, hours after the vital organs were removed from Martha Stephens' son. The family has saved that and other articles about organ donations and transplants.

"I want to give all of this to his children when they're old enough," Martha Stephens said. Sam's oldest child is 8.

Families of organ donors and recipients typically don't know each other.

"I don't want to meet him," said Mike Stephens. "Well, part of me does, but we're not supposed to. I really don't feel like part of my son is in him; I think my son is gone and this person has an organ he used to have."

Mike and Martha Stephens have no intentions of meeting the recipient, who is the same age as their youngest son. They believe he has his own life to live without their interference.

The Stephens family understands why in tragic times some families choose not to donate loved ones' organs. But they feel that their son no longer needed his organs in death, so others might as well use them and live.

"It's good that some order can come of this chaos and some good can come of something so bad," Martha Stephens said. "We will never regret our decision to do this."

No one has been charged in Sam Stephens' death.