Don't give up the whole dream

I've been thinking about the New Year and how people resolve to make changes in their lives, and I remembered an encouraging statement I heard recently. It was good advice that, if followed, would help a person attain his goals.

Each New Year, many vow they will attempt to diet, exercise more, stop smoking or watch their temper, to name a few areas. All sorts of promises are made. Then at the first backslide, they say, "I've blown it, so I might as well give up."

If John goes off his diet, even briefly, he often says "It's no use. I may as well stuff myself," and he does. Then the lost weight piles back on twice as fast, and John feels he has failed. Mary may try to stop smoking and, if she smokes one cigarette in a moment of weakness, she believe it's useless and smokes two packs a day rather than only one, as before. Others plan to switch occupations or vocations, but the change often requires further education. Sometimes when reality sets in, people find they can't handle a full class load and drop out before learning how to balance the new responsibility with their present lives.

All broken resolutions can cause hopes to die -- hopes of being slimmer and healthier, being free from the habit of smoking, and of pursuing a more satisfying vocation -- merely because one failed once or twice, originally, in accomplishing his purpose.

As I talked with an acquaintance, Jim, a few weeks ago, he told me of his love of the church. He had always desired to be a priest, but circumstances led him in other directions. Nevertheless, he's now very active in the church and enjoys spiritual work immensely. He expressed that some people couldn't understand why he derived such satisfaction from performing various ministries in the church. I failed to comprehend how anyone could question his motives, but his next comment certainly expressed a positive attitude. He remarked. "Although I was never able to become a priest or pastor, I never gave up the whole dream."

I was awestruck with his comment. "I never gave up the whole dream." What an eye opener. Everyone could use that type of outlook. If one failed to attain his goal for the New Year, he could realize he had accomplished a "part" of what he attempted. He had perhaps lost a few pounds before abandoning his diet, quit smoking for a short time, or had finished a few college classes. Reaching one's dream doesn't have to come all at once.

I talked with a schoolteacher and asked if she liked teaching. She said, "Yes, but I'd actually rather travel. So I teach during the school year and tour during the summer, realizing part of my dream." Instead of giving up on her desire to travel she found a way to achieve some of her goals.

Many fail to accomplish their dreams because they don't persevere. If people understood they don't have to reach a goal or correct a habit instantly, fewer would abandon their goals. They would keep pushing -- taking baby steps -- falling sometimes but picking themselves up again remembering the consolation, "You are strong because God is with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9)

Since each New Year's Day is a new beginning for me, I fully intend to continue making New Year's resolutions. If I fail to achieve everything I attempt, I will nevertheless refuse to give up. I have made some progress because I will have accomplished, at least, a part of my ambition.

Ellen Shuck is director of religious education at St. Mary's Cathedral in Cape Girardeau.