Dads ring in Father's Day by being Mr. Moms

These days, fathers are spending as much or more time with their kids than their parents did, and the roles of mothers and fathers are converging, according to findings from the Pew Research Center.

That means dads are taking on more of the household and child-care duties, and moms are spending more time at work.

Jackson father John Slattery is one who has taken on a more central role in his children's lives because he is the parent his daughters spend the most time with. At the other end of the spectrum, Katie Stroder, a wife and mother herself, has grown to appreciate her dad, Ron Doughty, even more over the years.

Slattery's daughters -- 14-year-old Abby and 10-year-old Ashley -- are the light of his life.

The girls play nearly every sport, are involved in Girl Scouts and dance, and have friends, birthday parties and sleepovers to attend. All of it keeps Slattery, who is divorced, on his toes, but he doesn't mind.

"I wear a set of tires out a year," he quipped.

When he's not ferrying his daughters around, the Jackson resident does inside sales for Roofers Mart in Cape Girardeau. And he does whatever it takes to help his daughters enjoy their lives.

In August, Slattery fell off a flight of stairs at his home while trying to get medicine for his daughter at night. He dislocated his knee, and his quadriceps muscle rolled up into his leg.

Slattery said: "The only thing that ran through my mind was, 'What about my kids? How can I take care of them?'"

But he managed. Slattery had surgery to repair his leg on a Wednesday and returned to work on a Tuesday. He spent three months using a wheelchair and crutches but was able to get around -- and take his girls where they needed to go.

"I don't live through my kids. I've already done my thing," said Slattery, who has coached girls' softball and soccer and is Jackson girls' softball commissioner.

What makes it special for Slattery, who is divorced, is seeing the smiles on his children's faces.

"I want them to enjoy their lives and say, 'I had a great time growing up. I played this; I got to go to birthday parties; we got to go here and have fun doing this. I don't want to hold them back because it's just me."

He said Abby and Ashley do a lot more things than he did, which sometimes makes it difficult to be everywhere he'd like to be. "I have to go from one or go to the other field and miss the other one's game," Slattery said.

But being a father isn't hard, he said, "it's a blessing."

Growing up, Slattery was the youngest of six children. He also has 19 nieces and nephews around the country.

Because his siblings were much older than he was, Slattery said they weren't around as much as he would have liked.

"I got to see them, but there wasn't a lot of kid action going on. So when I got older, when my siblings would bring their sons and daughters [and] they'd all be doing whatever, I always played with the kids, because you can't beat the youth. They're honest and sincere; they're fun. ... I always wanted ... a lot of children, so I'm blessed with two," he said.

For Father's Day, Slattery will have a normal day -- going to the ballfield with his daughters.

He said it's difficult for them to get him anything for the occasion, but they often make him cards. "My youngest makes me, you know, those rubber band bracelets, she makes me those. I wear those. I'm not afraid to wear pink," he said.

A daughter's view

Karie Stroder of Jackson is effusive about her dad, Ron Doughty, a retired Air Force major. He was a traditional dad while Stroder and her sister Katie Williamson were growing up -- on the job, flying fighter jets.

He and Stroder's mother, Laura, of Springfield, Illinois, are divorced.

Doughty, Stroder said, is looking for ways to help others, everything from feeding stray cats to volunteering at the Veterans Home and teaching computer classes at the Cape Girardeau Public Library.

Doughty, who lives in Cape Girardeau and manages and creates websites, served in the Air Force from 1967 to 1987 and was a combat war veteran in Vietnam in 1969. A Distinguished Flying Cross winner, he is a member of the 12th Tactical Fighter Wing and is vice president and webmaster of the 12th Tactical Fighter Wing Association.

Stroder and her husband, Tim, a chemistry teacher at Central High School, have a 3-year-old daughter, Josie. Her sister, Katie Williamson, and husband, Corey, a U.S. Marine, have a 9-year-old son named Jadon. They recently returned from overseas and are having a family reunion with everyone this weekend in Springfield.

Doughty can be stoic but also kind and compassionate -- qualities Stroder said she has come to appreciate as she's gotten older. "I know that I can always call my dad, [and] in two seconds he'll have the problem solved," she said. "He always asks if there's something he can do for me."

Stroder said her dad was always a hard worker and busy gardening and being outdoors. "He would build things for my sister and I to play with," she added.

For his part, Doughty is reticent, saying his daughters are "really outstanding" people and mothers.

Since her father was a fighter pilot, growing up, she and her sister didn't see much of him, but they lived all over the world.

"We lived in the Philippines for three years and had various assignments, so they got to travel around a lot and see the world," Doughty said.

rcampbell@semissourian.com

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