Celebrating Christmas my way

How often do you see the wonderful spirituality of Christmas overwhelmed by the stress and worry of keeping up with the material side of the holiday? It's sad to hear stressed-out people exclaim "I hate Christmas!" How can we avoid dreading the celebration of such a blessed event?

Many people, now more than ever, become depressed and overly stressed at Christmas. I personally love Christmas, but I must admit I would enjoy it more if less work were involved.

My enthusiasm for the season is decreased by the pressure of trying to accomplish all the obligations I think I have to fulfill. Is all the baking done? All the gifts bought and wrapped? Is my home properly decorated, and are the Christmas cards sent? Is the tree set up and festooned with lights?

As long as people tell me they, too, are behind with Christmas tasks I feel confident, but if they gush that everything is ready at their house, I cringe and shrink, feeling genuine pressure and depression.

I remembered my family always joyfully celebrated Christmas, even though we had little money. A Christmas tree was always set up, but it kept its place in the closet until my mother placed it in the living room and enlisted our help decorating it. Baking and decorating moderately was always on the agenda, as were gift giving and sending Christmas cards. We always attended church on Christmas morning followed by the family gathering for a mouth-watering dinner. Ah, what delicious aromas floated throughout the house!

Why couldn't I prepare for Christmas now as we did during my childhood? The atmosphere seemed far more tranquil then than now. Then I suddenly saw the difference. The first and most prevalent reason was that I work full time and must crowd extra jobs into an already-filled schedule. Another reason is that it seems people now have less time to spend on family activities than in years past. Since I'm unwilling to relinquish my work, I must find balance in my life and learn how to handle celebrations in the here and now rather than reminiscing about what used to be.

I recently talked with an associate at the office, and she had many of the same concerns in preparing for Christmas. She described the array of colorful lights proudly displayed at her neighbor's house. "She even has the darn mailbox decorated," she said, "and I have nothing outside. I'm so embarrassed."

Our expectations of Christmas celebrations are a very real problem. God mainly intended for people to discover new-found hope, love and salvation when he arranged for the birth of Jesus. "She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins." (Matthew 1:21) And people brought gifts. "The magi opened their treasures and offered him gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh." (Matthew 2:11)

I decided I must celebrate Christmas in the way best suiting my lifestyle, financial means and available time. I must refuse to overextend myself in an attempt to follow the crowd. I could choose instead to visit loved ones, drive around appreciating the decorations of others, attend the various of church services, and relax while enjoying the spirituality of the season. From now on I shall, I hope, use judgment and discretion regarding Christmas preparations -- becoming Mary rather than Martha. I will remember to celebrate Christmas "my way" -- enjoying rather than dreading the season.

Ellen Shuck is director of religious education at St. Mary's Cathedral Parish in Cape Girardeau.