Caregiver thankful for support of friends, Alzheimer's Assoc.

Gloria Brothers has many things to be thankful for.

As she and her husband Lee Brothers sat on the couch in their Jackson home, their beloved cat Sketch lounging nearby, she admitted there were hard days, but said they were always balanced out by good.

Gloria is Lee's caretaker of five years, following his memory loss diagnosis.

"It started when he had trouble remembering where places were in town," she said. "I took him to the doctor and they prescribed some medicine, which helped for a little while then didn't help at all."

Soon after his diagnosis, Gloria said Lee was unable to operate a vehicle, a "terrible blow" for both of them. He also needed help with daily tasks, like getting dressed and taking medicine.

"He continued to decline in memory loss over the years," she said. "Helping him with the day-to-day tasks isn't hard, he's a really gentle person, but after a while the little things get to you."

Just as Gloria felt most overwhelmed by her task as caregiver, help arrived. Earlier this year, she attended a presentation by the Alzheimer's Association. The organization announced it would be accepting more families for its respite care program, which provides assistance with the cost of respite care programs or health products.

"I was put on a waiting list," she said. "This fall, my health declined and needed a break; then they called and said they had funding for us. It was perfect timing. Such a blessing."

The financial assistance allowed Gloria to pay for care services for her husband as she ran errands or simply took a break. It also allowed her to enter Lee into the Memory Matters program with the Lutheran Family and Children's Services of Missouri in Cape Girardeau.

"They're extremely good with activities and it's just a place for him to spend time with others he can relate to," Gloria said. "It's really been helpful to me and Lee."

But Gloria is more than just a wife and caretaker; she's also a mother. She has three children, one of whom has special needs and resides in an assisted living facility with a caregiver.

"Every week I take her swimming and home for lunch," Gloria said. "And every Sunday, I take her to church."

Her daughter was diagnosed with an emotional disorder as well as a developmental disorder, and Gloria said she sometimes has her "down days," but she still tries to maintain their weekly outings.

"I feel it's very important for her to still be part of the family," Gloria said.

Gloria's family also has relied on the assistance of another family: their church family. Gloria and Lee are longtime members of the Hanover Lutheran Church in Cape Girardeau, where they attend services every Sunday and Bible class every Wednesday.

"The church is always great," Gloria said. "They always greet Lee just like everybody else when he walks through the door."

Although Lee is no longer able to participate in many church activities, Gloria said members of the church have really "stepped up to the plate." Many have offered to give Lee rides home from church events or stay with him when Gloria needed to leave the house.

"They really make us feel like we're still part of the group," she said. "Our Christian faith has really held us in good stead."

Thanks to the respite program from the Alzheimer's Association, Gloria can still participate in the church's women's group. She also participates in choir.

"I'm able to keep up with my outside activities, which I'm really happy about," said Gloria.

According to Amanda Laumeyer, family services coordinator for the Alzheimer's Association St. Louis Chapter, the purpose of the respite program is to help the caregiver.

"They make the decision on how to use the money," she said. "Their loved one could stay in a nursing home if they have to go out of town ... or they could use it for supplies, like medical or safety equipment."

Those interested in learning more about or applying for the respite assistance program may call 800-272-3900 or visit alz.org/stl.

Pertinent address:

2949 Perryville Rd, Cape Girardeau, MO