CAPE WOMAN BREAKING THE CYCLE OF VIOLENCE

When Gwendolyn Kelley met her future husband in 1991, the spark wasn't there. They saw each other only a few weeks before Kelley, 27, told him things weren't working out.

But the two met again in April, and this time, sparks flew. He was gentle, affectionate, kind, and she fell in love. They married after a monthlong, whirlwind courtship.

It didn't take long for the storybook romance to turn into a horror novel. Two weeks after the wedding, Kelley's new husband started pushing her up against walls, pulling her around by her hair and threatening to beat her.

He made good on his threats in June.

Kelley woke him up for work, then said she would have to drive him so she would have the car for her volunteer service at a local hospital. Her husband began yelling at her, telling her to get a real job and that her volunteer work wasn't important.

He slammed her against the door, choked her, twisted her arm behind her back and beat her head against the floor.

When Kelley didn't show up on time to meet her girlfriend, the girlfriend called Kelley's home. With bruises from head to toe and her husband still in the house, Kelley took the phone to a back room and whispered that her friend should call the police.

Kelley and her now ex-husband fit the typical description of abuser-victim relationships. Some of Kelley's female relatives put up with their abusers for years -- one actually encouraged her to "give it a chance" with the man who nearly killed her.

And, even though Kelley knew about her ex-husband's problem with beating girlfriends, she thought he had changed and married him anyway.

But she chose to break the cycle of violence. She went straight from the hospital emergency room to the Cape Girardeau County Courthouse to get an ex parte order -- also called a restraining order -- against the man who beat her. Kelley carries it in her purse.

Today, she works part-time and sees a counselor to learn more about herself and how to prevent ending up with another abuser.

"I'm not telling this story to get people's sympathy," Kelley said. "I want to give other women -- or men -- the strength to realize there is a way out of abuse. You don't deserve this, and you will be able to have a positive attitude again in your life."

Along with her ex parte order, she carries a "Cherished Thoughts" calendar with an inspirational quote on each page. November 3 is one of Kelley's favorites, because it bears a passage written by F.W. Robertson that she really believes.

"There is a past which is gone forever," it reads, "but there is a future which is still our own."