Cape Girardeau resident from France reacts to attack in Paris

France native Marine Perot had just finished lunch Wednesday when a friend sent her a text asking if she would still be able to travel back to the United States over the weekend. Charlie Hebdo, a well-known satirical newspaper in Paris, had been attacked.

Perot has been living in Cape Girardeau since August 2011 while attending school, and had gone home for winter break to visit with her family in Laives, Bourgogne, France.

As in any terrorist situation, her immediate reaction was to ask why something like this had happened, and why to innocent people. Over the next couple of days, the terror escalated from the killing of a policewoman in a southern suburb of Paris to an attack on a Parisian kosher market, leading up to the killing of three of the four suspected terrorists in question Friday. At this point, the fourth suspected terrorist has yet to be caught.

During this time, Perot discussed with her family and friends the terrorists' purpose behind the attacks, and how the world could move forward.

"It hit home with everyone," Perot said. "That day it didn't matter if you lived in Paris or in the south of France or across the sea, it was just horrible for everyone because it was not an attack on Paris, it was an attack on everyone. Not only French people, but anyone who lives in a democracy. So, yeah, it hit home pretty hard," Perot said.

Perot said Charlie Hebdo is well known in France, considering it has drawn a reputation over the years for presenting controversial cartoons on its covers and satirical content throughout.

"Not everyone reads it, but everyone knows that it exists; everyone knows what kind of newspaper it is and what they do. So whenever people saw the news they knew what it was. It wasn't a little newspaper that no one had ever heard of -- it was a big thing," Perot said.

She said that regardless of whether people knew the people who were killed, the entire nation felt the effect of the attack. In the days that followed, she, along with her family and friends, felt a mix of emotions, from grief to anger.

"It was kind of a huge flow of feelings. At first you were shocked and then sad and then mad, and then you couldn't understand what was going on and it just kept happening over those three days ...," Perot said. "We were talking about it, and it's kind of hard in that kind of situation to pinpoint what's really happening inside of you, because it's kind of hard to understand, and at the same time you know why you're feeling that way just because it's horrible and it's human response to feel like that. But at the same time it's just too much and it's just so unbelievable."

During the attacks, she said it was hard to look away from the news, as each new detail about the attacks became more haunting than the last. In a sense, she felt entranced by the need to know the current situation at all times.

"I had a very weird relationship with the news during the events because I could not stop watching the news," Perot said. "Since it happened on Wednesday, from 1 [p.m.] until I left, I couldn't stop watching the news because there was this idea of needing to know what was going on -- having some kind of explanation and information about it -- and also the fact that we could get info from everywhere.

"I remember Wednesday night, going to bed and sleeping for a few hours, and all of the sudden I woke up in the middle of the night and I looked up my Twitter, because I was like, 'What's going on?' because they were chasing the people who did this. ... There was that fear that something might happen again. So there was that almost unhealthy need to see what was going on. At some point, it was on Friday, I hit a point where I needed to stop watching because it was just too much and I tried to follow a little less what was going on."

Perot said the initial attack at Charlie Hebdo hit home a little harder for her because she has worked in journalism for the past several years; she received a bachelor of science degree in mass communication (TV and film) in December 2013 and studied film in France; she worked as an intern for KRCU at Southeast Missouri State University and has written stories for the Southeast Missourian as a freelance writer. She said she found the response from cartoonists and journalists to be a strong mark of respect for the victims, and was impressed by how quickly they bounced back from the tragedy in an attempt to help the world move forward, all the while paying tribute to those killed in the attack.

"... The thing that I admired was the work of the people covering the events. ... Especially I found absolutely wonderful the fact that some cartoonists were able to draw stuff and to joke about it in such a small amount of time right after it. I was like, 'That's beautiful,' because I can't even talk about it [the attack]," she said.

Perot said even in the worst of times, events like the attack can help pull a nation, and parts of the world, together. With the social media hashtag #JeSuisCharlie taking hold on Twitter and Facebook throughout the world, many nations have come together to support the French people.

"I think the most important change it brought was the unification of the whole country over this, because 4 million people walked yesterday in France. And they were not protesting, they were not running a revolution or anything, they were just walking to say 'We are not afraid,' and I think that's the most important thing about it -- is that we know that we can be targeted because of our freedom of expression, and we think it's intolerable that we would be attacked because of that, and that any democracy or any country, any free place would be attacked because of free speech. You can't kill people, period, but you certainly can't kill them in the name of wanting to stop them from talking."

Perot said she had been scheduled to visit Paris on Friday and was unsure if she should still go in such a tense time, but continued with her plans. When she arrived that afternoon she experienced a stressful atmosphere in the city, since the hostage situation and police standoffs with the terrorists were happening right around the same time. Although she was unable to be at the unity march Sunday, she said she is proud that France's leaders, along with other world leaders, came together in an act of solidarity and peaceful representation.

"I was kind of sad I couldn't be there, because I think it was a truly historical moment. Seeing all those major country representatives or our presidents surrounded by prime ministers from other countries and all that was pretty powerful. ..." Perot said. "I saw images of people celebrating the police and all the people who did all that work, and that's something you don't see that often. I think it's beautiful and I think it's very important that people are doing that. I think it's very important to be a union against terrorism, and I think it's very important to show that we can't accept that.

"I think the main thing to remember is that a pen is not a weapon. It can be, but it doesn't aim at ending a being against a gun or anything. Free speech should not need to be protected."