CAN KIDS COPE BEING LEFT ALONE?

Thousands of children across the country care for themselves on a regular basis.

The case of David and Sharon Schoo, the Chicago couple that left their daughters, ages 9 and 4, alone for nine days while they went to Acapulco, has brought the issue to the national spotlight, raising compelling parental questions:

When are children ready to stay home alone, even for a few hours?

When is it a crime to leave your children alone?

The answers are not clear-cut. Local experts say it depends on the individual child and the particular circumstances in each case.

Most children are not left alone for days with no adult supervision. But Mary Gosche, human development specialist with University of Missouri Extension, said an estimated 3 million children in the United States between ages 5 and 13 care for themselves for some period of time while their parents work.

Cape Girardeau Assistant Prosecuting Attorney Ian Sutherland said criminal prosecution of parents who leave children alone most often occurs after something bad happens to the child.

"Most of the time a fire has started or a neighbor calls after something goes wrong," Sutherland said. "Then we start looking for reasons to charge (the parents)."

But he said few such cases are filed.

"Nobody is going around ringing doorbells checking to see who is home alone," Sutherland said. "The vast majority of people who walk off and leave their children we never know about. Nothing bad ever happens to those children."

When is leaving children alone a crime?

"It's real fuzzy," Sutherland said. "It's sort of like pornography. It's hard to describe and define, but you don't have any doubts when you see it.

"There are no hard and fast guidelines," Sutherland said. "There are such huge differences in children, especially when they get up around age 10. You have 10-year-olds going on 20 and 10-year-olds going on five. Each case is different and we have to look at the facts of that particular case.

"We try to look at it from the child's point, whether or not the child was truly endangered, and we are talking about knowingly doing something."

He said a case of a mother and grandmother getting crossed signals about who was to watch a youngster on a particular day wouldn't be criminal, "even though the consequences may be tragic."

Gary Thurman, assistant area director for the Division of Family Services, agrees.

"It depends a lot on the circumstances. It's one thing to go out of country on vacation and another to go to the grocery store. And it depends on the child and how well the child has been prepared for the situation."

But, he said, "Any report we receive indicating children under the age of 8 have been left alone, we treat as an emergency report." Investigators respond immediately.

A report on a child age 8 or over home alone would not necessarily be considered an emergency.

"We would evaluate the circumstances, but in most of those cases our investigators would go right out.

"Our investigators evaluate the situation to see if the child is really in danger," Thurman said.

If DFS investigators determine the child is in danger, they make a referral to the juvenile office or to a law enforcement agency.

"If it's an emergency or a situation we think children will need to be taken into protective custody, we will often co-investigate with law enforcement personnel," Thurman said.

The case is then handled through the court system.

When investigators look into situations, they quiz children on their "home alone" skills.

"We have a questionnaire we use in emergencies," Thurman said. "Do children know to call 911 in an emergency, or to call a neighbor? We use that questionnaire to try to determine whether the child would be able to take care of himself."

The answer is almost never cut and dried.

"Kids mature at different ages," Thurman said. "Some kids at 12 are ready to take care of themselves and some are not ready at age 15.

"It depends on the child and how well the child has been prepared for the situation," Thurman said.

Gosche agrees. "There is no magic age," she said. But she said most research shows that children age 9 or 10 are too young to be left alone.

After age 10, the maturity of the child is the deciding factor.

Susan Mills, nutritionist with the extension service, added that parents should never leave a child under the age of 6 with an older child.

"Just because a child who is 11 or 12 is able to take care of themselves, doesn't mean they are ready to take care of a younger sibling," Gosche said. "The younger child requires almost constant supervision, and the older child can't be expected to take care of both himself and the younger child."

But again, she added, each child is different. "I remember a 12-year-old who did some babysitting for me. She was very good."

Some signs of maturity to look for include:

Is the child willing to stay alone; does he or she desire to stay alone?

Can he or she get ready for school on time?

Can the child solve problems on their own?

Do they do homework on their own, without a lot of prompting?

If given a list of jobs, can they do the jobs with very little supervision?

If the child is going next door to play, will they tell the parent where they are going and when they plan to be back?

Gosche said parents should also consider the neighborhood. "Do you live where there are friends or relatives nearby and the child feels safe?" she asked.

Children need to understand safety rules. "The child shouldn't tell anyone they are alone. They shouldn't answer the door."

Mills said parents also should make sure children have safe, nutritious food. "Food preparation and the kitchen area are very dangerous and need supervision," she said. "The kitchen is a walking disaster zone. You just can't be too careful."

Mills said children should not be allowed to fry food or use the oven, and should be allowed to use the microwave only after learning precautions.

"Have them prepare something for the family to prove they have the skills they need," she suggested.

The University Extension sponsored three parent-child meetings prior to the start of the school year to help parents and children decide if youngsters are ready to care for themselves.

The meeting at Jackson drew 67 people. Meetings were also held in Perryville and Ste. Genevieve.

"It was a big success," Gosche said. "We'd be happy to do it again if there is a group that would like to sponsor it."

The extension also has available a free self-study form for parents and children to use in assessing when the youngsters are ready to stay alone. Information is also included about safety issues to discuss with children.