BIRTH ORDER: FROM KINGS TO JESTERS: DOES BIRTH ORDER PLAY A ROLE?

First born destined to become king or queen. Last born destined to be the court jester.

While it may not be that simple, some researchers believe the order children are born in a family has an impact on that child's personality and career choices.

Larry Deaton, a retired teacher, counselor and school administrator, who lives at Independence, Mo., has been studying birth order for years.

While he admits it's fascinating, Deaton also says birth order is probably "good for one discussion at the dinner table and that's about it."

Deaton is the father of three children.

"The reason you study birth order is not to label or stereotype people," he said. "We are too complex to be reduced to one dimension -- birth order.

"The reason you study birth order is to be more effective in the relationships you have with people."

Deaton explained that first-born children like to be in control. They are very achievement oriented, scholastically minded, reliable people who usually plan ahead.

On the minus side, they are perfectionists. Many are moody, critical and stubborn. They are often driven and fault finders.

They also have trouble making friends because they set such high standards for everyone around them.

"First borns need to relax and enjoy life," Deaton said.

First borns are broken down into four categories.

- perfectionists.

- discouraged perfectionists; a first-born who tried to be a good kid.

- controllers; perfectionists who will run your life for you.

- conservator; "This is the wonderful first-born," Deaton said, "usually with several brothers and sisters. They have a parental quality and serve as family historians. They are always gathering people up."

Fifty-two percent of U.S. presidents were first born. Twenty-one of the first 23 astronauts were first-born (The other two were only children).

The greatest amount of research is on first-born children and adults. The research becomes less exact after that.

Middle children are called children of contradictions, Deaton said.

They are intensely loyal, very good negotiators and generally well adjusted. Middle children are often the peacemakers in a family.

On the minus side, they often have feelings of inadequacy and do not like confrontation. They will go to almost any length to avoid confrontation. They hide their feelings and are easily embarrassed.

"They are in the squeeze position in the family and they know it. So, often the peer group becomes very important," Deaton said. Middle children are often the most popular among their peers.

"They are good people in terms of marriage. You can't go wrong marrying a middle child, unless you are a middle child," Deaton said.

Last-born children are tolerant kids with lots of personality. They are spontaneous, affectionate, and generally a caring group.

On the negative side, they are impulsive, irresponsible, manipulative and self-centered.

"But they are so much fun, we forgive them," Deaton said.

Some famous "babies" include Billy Crystal, Eddie Murphy, Goldie Hawn and Jackie Gleason.

"For only children, some people just put the word super in front of first born. They take all the characteristics of a first born and heighten it," Deaton said.

Generally onlies are interpretive and persevering.

In families of more than three, the birth-order cycle is usually repeated or divvied up among the children.

Deaton said the toughest birth order slot is to be the middle child of three girls where the girls are constantly being compared. A second-born girl with an extremely successful older brother is the second most difficult spot.

While many experts have penned books on birth order, Deaton said he has done some of his research in the Bible. "Moses is a good example of a third-born child. Third-born children make great leaders, but they really don't want to lead. Moses was that way."

One Cape Girardeau family took a look at these characteristics and found that many match. Van Strickland, 23, and his brothers Jason, 17, and Matt, 14, fit some of the patterns researchers find, said their parents Bob and Jenny Strickland.

"They really fit," Jenny Strickland said.

Jenny Strickland said of first-born Van: "He is a high achiever, always hitting the books. He has set high goals for himself. He wants to be an engineer. He is more of a loner than the other two boys."

Jason, the middle born, is almost an opposite to his older brother.

"It's like daylight and dark," she said. "They don't like the same sports, the same foods, nothing."

Jason is a winning wrestler and has lots of friends.

"That's why we built that room in the basement," Jenny Strickland said. "Everyone is always coming to Jason's house."

While he has lots of potential, his mother said Jason doesn't always apply his skills in the classroom.

"Jason does what feels good now," said Jenny Strickland.

"Matt is probably the most lovable of the three," she said, "and probably the most willing to help."

Matt's older brothers took exception to that characterization, explaining that Matt simply had convinced his mother he was a good helper.

"He wants something new every day," Jason said. "And he gets it," added Van.

Jenny Strickland said of Matt, "He's extremely sociable and could sell anything."

Matt explained that he once returned a CD player after using it for a year and talked the salesperson into giving him back his money.

Studying birth order has become something of a hobby for Diane Sides of Cape Girardeau, a first born.

"It's just phenomenal how much these characteristics match up," Sides said.

"I have three younger sisters," she said. "The third is the comedian in our family. My second-born sister is a hairdresser."

Sides got interested in birth order after hearing Deaton speak.

Sides has two children of her own. "My first born is extremely well organized. She does very well academically and is very success oriented and has no desire to fail. She is a freshman in high school and can tell you where she is headed.

"My second born tends -- well -- his nickname is `sky king.' But he is very athletic.

"Marriage counselors in St. Louis are getting involved in birth order," said Sides, who is divorced. "I was married to another first born.

"When we go to a singles bar, instead of asking what's your sign, maybe we should ask what's your birth order."

Books on birth order include "The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are" by Kevin Leman, "The Birth Order Factor" by Lillian Forer, "First Born-Second Born" by Barbara A. Sullivan, and a host of others.

Deaton will be in Cape Girardeau March 16 to conduct Leadership Academy training for school administrators. However, his topic this time around is not birth order.

OCCUPATIONS

First born

Scientists

Doctors

Lawyers

Accountants

Bookkeepers

Chemists

College professors

Public administrators

Mathematicians

Career military

Executive secretaries

Engineers

Architects

Newspaper and magazine reporters

Jet pilots

Astronauts

Nurses

Politicians

Economists

School superintendents

Presidents, Kings, Queens

Middle Children

Excellent managers

Excellent leaders (they understand compromise and negotiation)

Peace makers

Observers

Artists

Later Born

Announcers - radio/television

Anchor persons

Weathermen

Entertainers

Car salesmen

Counselers

Teachers

Artists

Assembly line operators

Musicians

Athletics

Waiters and waitresses

Secretaries/stenographers

Enlisted military