The conditions for a much-needed respite and recharging process appeared ideal. Only problem was, Marjorie Hansen Shaevitz forgot how.
Shaevitz and her husband were asked to deliver a few talks to health-care professionals amid the fun-filled surroundings of a two-week cruise. Who wouldn't welcome a free vacation?
"I thought this was going to be my first chance at rest and relaxation in some time," said Shaevitz, chairperson of the California State Commission on the Status of Women and a member of its health care committee.
"It was awful. The first night I was pacing back and forth in the middle of the night after realizing I just couldn't sleep. Even when my kids were being taken care of, I still worried about them. I had so many things on my mind. It stayed like that until the last day."
On the final day of the cruise Shaevitz finally realized she lost her ability to break free from her frenetic pace and the responsibilities that were beginning to consume her life. She didn't realize how long it had been since she thought to simply take care of herself.
"What I had to realize is that, when you stray from a good diet, suffer from sleep deprivation, never take time to relax and find spiritual sustenance, you're nothing more than a machine that has run out of fuel.
"If you're no good to yourself, you're not going to be able to do all the things you want for your family," she said.
That moment of self-discovery led to the book titled "The Superwoman Syndrome," a therapeutic work that soared to the best-seller list in a matter of weeks. Shaevitz touched the hearts and minds of so many women who were having similar experiences, she was soon getting invitations to appear on talk shows like Oprah Winfrey and David Letterman.
She will explain how she conquered the Superwoman Syndrome March 4 at the Holiday Inn during a series of speeches as part of the St. Francis Medical Center's 1995 Womancare Conference March 3-4. Her most recent book is titled "Superwoman Doesn't Live Here Anymore; Five things You Can Do To Better Manage Your Life."
Shaevitz will speak from 8:45 to 9:45 a.m.; 10:30-11:30 and 2:30-3:30 p.m. March 4.
"I had no idea there were so many women out there with this same problem," Shaevitz said. "Publishers were shoving proposals under my hotel door when I first pitched the project."
She is a graduate of Stanford University and has served as director of Programs for Education and Mental Health professionals at the University of California-San Diego.
One of Shaevitz's messages is that rest, exercise and the proper amount of communication within the family unit can go a long way in refueling a woman who takes on a myriad of daily responsibilities.
"You need to find an outlet for relaxation and recharging," Shaevitz said. "For one person it might mean using a treadmill; for another it might mean taking a walk along a scenic route," she said. "I sometimes like to lose myself in a good book. I also like to make sure that when I seek social interaction, I'm not around people who aren't good for me."
Shaevitz, who also has written a book titled "Dual Career Couples," said that sometimes men and women don't know how to help each other cope with daily stress. "Men are brought up to believe they shouldn't complain about being sick," she said. "They think if they tough it out, that's all they need to do to get better."
She said one man told her he had chronic knee problems from playing sports and working on an oil rig for several years. He never told the woman he was with what kind of pain he felt. He finally realized that he never really listened to her pain.
"It took until she left him for the realization to finally sink in," Shaevitz said. "He told me the first thing he thought about after attending one of my talks was to give her a call and try to really listen to her."
Shaevitz's presentations at the Womancare Conference will take place before and after several seminars on topics such as "It's All in the Wrist," a talk on carpal tunnel syndrome. The talk will be given by orthopedic surgeon Dr. Rickey Lents.
A seminar titled "Walking for the Best and Rest of Your Life" will be presented by St. Francis Fitness and Wellness coordinator Bill Logan. Another talk, "Humor for the Health of It," will be delivered by St. Francis Clinical Resource nurse Debbie Hinnant. A presentation about how to shop for low-fat foods by St, Francis cardiopulmonary nurse Linda Lawrence also will be given.
St. Francis Foundation Executive Director Edythe M. Davis will talk about the impact of volunteering in a community. Another seminar will deal with "Caring for Your Aging Parents."
A $40 registration fee covers both days. For women who want to register solely for March 4 activities the fee is $35. The fee for attending the "Pamper Yourself Night" events on March 3 is $10. For full-time undergraduate students the fee is $15 and covers activities both days.
For more information or to register call Womancare at Saint Francis Medical Center at 339-6209.
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